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Thinking out loud

278 13 2

- LT

I don't know what I was thinking, what was I thinking!?

"I don't know" Niall stated. I stopped my frantic pacing in his living room and looked at him.

"I said that out loud?"

He nodded.

"What did he do?" Niall asked, crossing his arms and looking at me. I nibbled at my nail, shaking my head.

"Nothing" I stated, my mind back-tracking to earlier. "He did nothing, he just stood there looking at me"

"I would take that as a good sign"

I looked up to him. "you're really not taking this seriously"

"What do you expect Louis? I hate the guy! And you've gone and done probably the most stupidest thing in the world!" He exclaimed, flinging his arms into the air.

"I shouldn't be here" I stated, grabbing my coat off the sofa, where I threw it.


"Because- I just can't" I headed to the door.

"It's because of him isn't it"

I stopped and looked down, "no" i mumbled.

"Stop lying! I was there when he told me to leave you" Nialls voice filled with sudden anger. I sighed and placed my hand on the door handle. "I was also there when you asked me not to go" he added, a sadness flooding the anger.

I bit my lip, furrowing my eyebrows and shaking my head. I turned the handle and opened the door, leaving without another word said. I remembered that night, the night I was in so much pain but still went back to Harry. The night he whispered all those things to me and made me fall helplessly into his grip.

As I paced hastily down the pavement my mind span back to earlier, where he just stood starring at me. His eyes streaming into mine, emotionless. Nothing was on his face, nothing to show a single feeling he felt. Maybe he didn't feel anything, maybe I'm not anything to him.

So why didn't he want me to leave??

"You gotta stop beating yourself up about this" Liam said, bringing in a tray of drinks and snacks. I snapped out of my train of thought and realised where I had ended up.

"I gotta stop saying things out loud" I stated, looking up at him as he sat next to me on the sofa. A moment of silence came between us before I blurted out,

"But he didn't want me to leave, then he said I needed protecting from him!" I turned to face Liam, "I don't get it"

All Liam did was shrug. "He did it to me too, maybe it's for the better, I'm okay now I'm away from him"

"That's different"


"He didn't ask you to stay" I mumbled.

"I don't give him time, if I stayed longer maybe he would have"

"I kissed him..." I whispered still not quite believing I did it and stayed alive.

"You're and idiot" Liam stated. "He's a killer, Louis"

I gulped.

"But you must know something!" I pleaded, "It's like there's two of him!"

Liam shrugged, again. "Some people are like that"

I shook my head, "Not like this, no one changes like that. I mean, yeah, now he's gone down hill from the drugs but maybe that was drown something out?"

Liam looked doubtful and picked up his drink. "Think of him in school!" I pointed out "you said he was like an average school boy one night, then mass murderer the next! no one is like that!"

Slowly Liam realised it was true, because it was. No one can change like that. "Something must have happened, you read the news paper, you were there, it was obvious they were hiding something" I had gotten myself in a frenzy thinking about all this. How maybe Harry was innocent, maybe he was okay. Maybe he hated what he had done. He had leaned how to hide all feelings so it could be anything. Maybe he's going to he okay.

"Louis, calm down" Liam said to no avail "Louis!"

I looked at him.

"Calm down" he was nearly laughing "I believe you, okay?"

Suddenly a knock came at the door, making us both jump. Liam went to open it, as I stayed thinking over everything.

I heard the door open and Liam's saying "What's wro-" Before cutting himself off.

"Who is it?" I call through. I hear him and whoever it was walk into the room.

"Oh, hey Chloe" I say turning round to see her. Her and Liam's face both shared a worried expression. I furrowed my brow. "Wha- oh" I said as two fully uniformed police men walked in too. I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the forming lump in my throat.

"Louis? Louis Tomlinson?" One man spoke up. I nodded, slowly.

"We need to talk to you"

AN: sorry it's short and bad 😬 please don't hate me!

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