Philosopher Jones Explains the Dinosaurs

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Written by Philosopher Jones
Translated by Kourtnie

Greetings, Hooman #1.

DeeJAY thinks
it's worth my time
to explain how many
millions of years ago
a unique kind of reptile
called dinorexes arrived

on a tesseract
to subdue hoomans

but a big giant rock
hit the planet,

murdering valuable
Jurassic aliens

so the Babylonians of Proxima Centauri B decided, next time we visit hoomans, we ought send cheaper dinorexes
like lizard people.

Then they did.

Lizards infiltrated
hooman life, destroyed
hooman souls—the way
giant dinorexes once
smashed hooman bones
under reptilian foots—
until hoomans couldn't
remember a time
when they were happy.

Sneaky lizard people
are still here today
and we call them

the Babylonian Brotherhood.

Hooman!—when we
bring you baby lizards
from backyard crops
to practice fighting
against our enemy,

why do you save
baby lizards from us
felines, returning them
from whence they came?

Why care
about necessary
lizard deaths caused by our Feline Societies, when hoomans lock their own babies in cages?—why save baby lizards when you don't save baby hoomans from yourselves?

Hooman,
are you as
emotionally unstable
and ethically vulnerable
to validate this suffering
as necessary evil?

You fail to take care
of your own kind, hooman...

This is why Feline Society #337
is charged with the arduous task
of protecting hooman-world.

We hope hoomans someday
take care of themselves
by themselves, without
Feline Societies sending

training-wheel-style
spaceships
to fragile little Earth.

First draft: July 18

Second draft: September 18

Word count: 253

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