XXXIV

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Consciousness is a weird thing. You're never aware that you were unconscious until you're conscious again.

But this time is different. Incredibly different from anything I've ever experienced before in my life.

I'm completely conscious... but I'm not.

I can hear everything around me, I can think and comprehend, but I can't make words come out of my mouth or open my eyes.

I wonder if people in comas feel this way? Can they really hear everything like I can right now? Am I in a coma?

I remember how I got here, I know why I'm here, but I think my mind woke up only when the dust settled when it comes to the condition
I'm in.

I have no idea what's wrong with me, or how serious it is. But I know this is weird.

I've never felt so trapped before. All I have is my thoughts. And all I can think about is Blake.

I know the tree was more so on my side than his, but we hit that tree pretty damn hard.

I am more than just worried for his safety. I'm terrified I'll never see him again.

And that's thinking with a mindset that I will wake up.

I think what's most terrifying for me aside from the idea he may be gone; is the things I regret not doing with him.

There are adventures we haven't gone on, places we haven't seen, people we haven't met, experiences we haven't experienced, and relationships we haven't explored...

Specifically between each other.

As much as we want to avoid it and deny it, it is there and it is looming.

It's just waiting to happen, but we are too scared of the feelings we may get... and then inevitably have torn away from us.

But this? This is way worse wondering what could have been instead of trying and regretting it later.

I love him. There's no way around it. He consumes my thoughts and emotions.

It's killing me that it took this to get me to come to my senses. But sometimes that's what it takes.

My mind instantly switches from Blake, to my brother, then to Darek, my friends, Cami. There are things I have left unspoken to all of them.

Things I know they know, but things I want to tell them.

Then there's a side of me that is dark... a side I try and suppress as much as I can.

The side that thinks everyone would be better off.

Blake would be free. Darek wouldn't have to feel like he's waiting around for me, I wouldn't have to worry about Anthony, Jason would be devastated, yes, but he wouldn't have to worry about me as much as he does.

I wouldn't have to worry anymore about what would happen if Anthony found me.

But that side of me is short lived and hardly a side thought.

It's there, but I don't want to let Anthony win. I don't want him to have that power over me. I am not giving up. I will not put the people I love through that kind of pain.

I need to open my eyes. I need to know if Blake is okay.

I need to regain full consciousness.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

BLAKE POV:

The adrenaline hit me so hard that I can hardly tell you what happened within the last thirty seconds.

Wrong Place, Right time.Read this story for FREE!