Chapter Two (Broken Spirit)

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As the grey light of dawn gave way to a new day, the gurney wheeled into Radiology for a CAT scan because an MRI wasn't enough. To highlight how bad the injuries were.

The spinning of my mind taking into account the fact that I couldn't feel my legs. As the scan began like millions of pins prickling my skin and growing to a burning sensation of fire every where it touched.

The endless waiting and worry mixed with nausea that refused to stop. As the hum and pounding in my head grew to sound like a swarm of bees I squeezed my eye's shut. A starburst of white light exploded behind my eye's the world seemed to tilt sideways as everything went quiet.

I opened my eyes as my stomach lurched and I retched, rolling over onto my hands and knees.

Bile spewing out onto the light mossy grass beneath me. The muffled thumps of running feet through the forest, I now found myself in. It's not a dream, I wouldn't be sick, I thought.

As guardsmen and gladeswomen surrounded me. I looked up relief flooding my face as my mother stepped into view.

Taking me in her arms." I've got you darling, let go of the pain." I sagged against her retching again.

Pain shooting through me like a knife stabbing through my stomach with each heave. Even as I experienced everything my conscious mind at war with this reality.

This was not my mother at least not from this time. But even as I recognized that I knew her to be the mother of my soul. The smell of the forest giving calm in the face of a million questions I wanted to ask.

"Why am I back again?" I asked.

She smiled with sadness, when you know people are weighing whether or not to lie to you, or grace you with the truth.

"Your pain haunts me in any timeline and as your body struggles to heal and survive you are practically screaming for me. The only way to save you is to bring your spirit intact forward and back to me to help you heal. The damage is compounded by the past. Every scar upon your soul cannot be healed but in our way we must heal you. I don't understand why you have been blocked so long from us. I can see your blood has been tainted by the impurities of damaged leaching spirits. Almost to the point of death. How is this even possible that you are depleted and drained. What have they done to you?"

Questions mother's should never ask their broken daughter's.

Tears flowed down her cheeks as my own eye's began to blur the torrent of memories flooding my mind and making me ache bone deep. Our eye's met and locked and every shred and ounce of anguish conveyed across the distance between us. A scream rose up in me like a symphony of all the hurt.

Grown men dropped to their knees as they felt the pain cut through them. Tears coursing down aged battle worn cheeks too accustomed to not feeling, suddenly gutted by the rawness of the jagged cutting pieces of my soul.

Thunk, thunk, thunk, the sound of hands joining and clasping together in a circle as their voices rose in a low rhythmic hum. The sound cascaded over me as I fought sleep overtaking me. The feel of strong arms lifting me as I floated the memories and pain fading. Replaced by love and peace.

I opened my eyes to pale pink walls that shimmered like sand infused with faceted diamonds. They moved and made a low resonance that tickled my mind awake.

I stretched and startled looking at the cold iron shackles tying me to the enormous silver bed. I surveyed the room trying to figure out how and why I ended up this way. The anger and shock made my skin crawl. Slowly rubbing my head on my shoulder in frustration.

I froze as my skin briefly glowed in spots star charts illuminated and faded giving way to the next constellation. My eyebrows raised it's been awhile since I'd remembered seeing that happen.

My whole body ached like I'd fought a war. The buzzing started in my ears again as I heard my mother's voice calling me back from far away, it grew in intensity as a moan of pain escaped me.

"Come back darling come back now, you cannot linger there in those memories another injury could kill you."

It seemed as if I was stuck between the two places, my head felt like it was ripping apart as the pink room started to strobe light harder and harder.

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