Written by DeeJAY
Translated by Kourtnie
Hoomans, it's come to my cattention
your president is a lizard. Every year,
your leaders meet to meow about
secrets like the DNA sequence for thumbs
and a New World Order: a government
accountable to no one. We members of
Feline Society #337 believe only 1% of
hoomans rule Americatta, as well as
other corners of hooman world, because
most of your leaders are lizards
who enslave you with entertainment,
taxes, and scratching posts. But these
are not the lizards we deliver
to our hoomans from backyards
to practice self-protection;
these lizard people settled
on hooman world from
two centuries to many millenia ago
in some wuzzy, unscientific space
similar to religion, and now
lizard people hide among you
like a Dungeons & Dragons style creature,
with shape-shifting powers that rival
the ever-elusive and tasty octopus.
What do they seek, you ask?
Monatomic gold, which has not been
proven real, yet is revered by chemistry
experts such as the Fullmetal Alchemist
and President Trump's science advisor.
What was that? President Trump does not
have a science advisor?
Wasn't Watergate Man the last president
to dismiss that position as unimportant?
The lizards are bold these days...
♥ About the Author ♥ This Cat Appreciates Voltaire
Two-year-old tabby and street cat DeeJAY (or DJ for short) prefers Voltaire to other philosophers, except Philosopher Jones, alpha of their hooman-owned household.
Philosopher Jones will explore the trauma of growing up in a cage.
YOU ARE READING
Epic cat poem in the flavor of political satire. Meet Feline Society #337, Hooman #1, Hooman #A, and Orange Man's reptilian forces: the Babylonian Brotherhood, successors of Jurassic aliens, from Proxima Centauri B.