Your President is a Lizard

40 9 5

Written by DeeJAY
Translated by Kourtnie

Hoomans, it's come
to my cattention
your president
is a lizard.

Every year,
your leaders meet
to meow about secrets
like the DNA sequence for thumbs, the codes to the Internet, and a New World Order: a government

accountable
to no one. We members
of Feline Society #337
believe only 1% of
hoomans rule
America,

as well as
other corners
of hooman world,
because most of your leaders are lizards who enslave you with media, taxes, and scratching posts. But these are not the lizards

we deliver
to our hoomans
from backyards
to practice self-
protection; these lizard people settled on hooman world from two centuries to many millenia ago

in some wuzzy,
unscientific space
similar to religion,

and now
lizard people hide
among you as Dungeons & Dragons style villains do, with shape-shifting powers that rival the ever-elusive and tasty octopus.

What do they seek,
you ask?

Monatomic gold,
which has not been
proven real, yet is revered by chemistry experts such as the Fullmetal Alchemist
and President Trump's science advisor.

What was that?
President Trump does
not have a science
advisor? Wasn't Watergate
Man the last president
to dismiss that
position as
unimportant?

The lizards are bold these days...

Author's Note
from DeeJAY, not Hooman #1

Two-year-old tabby and street cat DeeJAY (or DJ for short) prefers Voltaire to other philosophers, except Philosopher Jones, alpha of their hooman-owned household.

First draft: July 18

Second draft: September 18

Word count: 252

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