Chapter 24 - end

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We stayed in bed almost an hour, just talking and enjoying each other's company.

Grayson came to Ethan's room to tell him that they have to film.
Surprisingly he didn't seemed surprised when he saw me in his brothers bed.
He told me good morning with a smile and left the room. That was weird.

But thinking about it, Grayson saw me sleep on that trampoline at the boys warehouse and he knew we would have to share the big bed in the boat if he took the small one.
And Ethan is his twin, I bet Grayson knows more than I do.

I wasn't feeling that sick which was really cool until I remembered I had an appointment for my chemotherapy in a few hours.
"I have to go to the hospital." I told Ethan.
"Do you want me to go with you?" He asked, his eyes focused on his fingers playing with my hair.
"No, you have to film."
"You're more important." He said, still focused on his fingers.
I was definitely not expecting him to say a such thing.
"I'm good e. I'll call an Uber and you're going to film before Grayson comes tell you to do so for the tree hundreds time. And kill you by the same occasion."

Ethan laughed because I wasn't completely wrong.
"You're sure ?"
I looked at him in the eyes and smiled.
He nodded and pressed his forehead against mine, closing his eyes.
We stayed like that a few seconds then I felt Ethan's lips on mine for a quick peck.
After that he got out of his bed and left the room in nothing but his shorts.
I heard Grayson yelling at him for being this lazy and that he had to eat quickly and go change.


When I left the twins house I knew nothing will never be the same.

I made my decision.

And the closer I got to the hospital the more I was sure about it.
I looked through the window and let my mind fly away.

I thought about my father and what he was going to say once he founds out. I thought about Ethan, my Mom, Sam and my new friends Grayson, James and Bryant.
I asked myself again and again if it really was what I wanted, if it really was the best for me. And I always came to the conclusion that yes. Yes I had to do it.

Not for the one that I loved, but for me.


When my Uber dropped me in front of the hospital I wasn't scared, I wasn't already feeling sick.

That was the first time in so long.

I got in and made my way to the oncology service of the hospital.
I walked normally, not slowly as hell like I always did in order to delay the unavoidable. Today was different in every ways.

I saw my doctor waiting for me in the chemotherapy room and my heart started pounding.
"Finally, Mao you're late." He told me once he saw me.
"I know." I replied.
He realized I didn't came with any book or earphones to listen to music to pass time.

And he didn't even frowned or asked me why, he just stopped preparing the machine and sat on the bed, facing me.

Slowly he lowered his head.

Oh, he wasn't stupid. Of course he knew.


"My first year here I became friend with one of my patient. He was amazing and one of the best person I've ever got to know for sure. At that time I was so blind and unaware of what really happens in this service." He started, still looking at his hands.
"He decided to stop his treatment in October of this year, because he had enough of it. And he died a week before Christmas." He finished.

I sat beside him.

"After that, I promised myself I would never become friend, or even have any sort of relationship, with one of my patient." He said. "But it's not as easy as it sounds. There are some thighs we can't prevent from happening."
"I know." I told him.

He looked at me and I could see pain in his eyes.

"No I don't think you do, Mao."

I said nothing. He was probably right.

"I'll come see you sometimes." I said softly.
"You better."


After a while, I got up and he did the same.
We stayed like that a few seconds before I hugged him.

At first he didn't hugged back. Then after a moment I feel him wrap his arms around me.

"Take care of yourself, Mao." He said once we pulled away.
"I promise."

He nodded and smiled at me before signaling me with his hand to leave.

"It's your time to enjoy life, don't stay in this hospital one more minute."
"Goodbye doc." I told him.

"Goodbye kid."

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