The Tables Have Turned


Chapter 35


Broken.

Hurt.

Angry.

I’ve always thought that those girls on movies are over-dramatic with the whole heartbreak thing. I mean, sure I felt hurt several times before when it comes to Alex but this time it was different. It was just like how those pathetic girls on movies feel.

It was the whole cliché ‘sitting-in-my-room-crying-my-heart-out-and-eating-chocolate’ scene. And you know what? I hated it. I hated every second of it.

He hurt my heart and my pride.

How could he do that to me? Did he really not have any feelings for me? Not at all? I really thought that he at least liked me a bit.

How come he was able to get over the love we shared and I wasn’t able to?

I hated feeling that weak and broken. But what I hated the most was the fact that I lost Alex. I just can’t accept that I lost the guy I really love.

How do you get over a love like that? Is it even possible to get over it?

At that moment it didn’t seem possible.

Oh how I wished my mom was here to help me out. I need her.

After what happened with Alex today, I left school. I just couldn’t stand seeing him and not breaking down. It was worse than the breakup because I actually built all the confidence I needed to tell him how I really felt and his reaction was really unexpected.

I thought it was going to be like those cliché movies where he’ll wrap me in a hug and tell me how much he loves me too and apologize for what has happened.

But life’s not a movie. Life is painful.

Other than the pain, I was feeling angry. Angry at Alex for rejecting me and being so heartless and angry at God for not making my life better.

I pray every day and I know I’m not a bad person so why is my life like that? Why can’t He make it better?

I suddenly cut my chain of thoughts and regretted the anger I was feeling towards God. It wasn’t His fault. No, I’m pretty sure that He’s helping me out more than I am aware of.

Many people have worst lives to deal with. I shouldn’t blame God; I shouldn’t blame Him at all.

I apologized to Him, knowing that He would forgive me because that’s how good He is.

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