Chapter 94

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Wedding planning had begun, and it was the hardest battle Loki ever fought.
The celebration ended a few days after Loki and Trinity's evening in the garden, Loki thought that the end of the celebration would bring some peace, but he was very mistaken. The chaos of wedding planning now filled their lives. All day every day since the end of the celebration had been filled with tedious and tiring work to get everything prepared. For several days Loki looked forward to the night, he could sleep and get good rest before the craziness of the next day, but it had been a few weeks since all the preparations started, and Loki wasn't able to find peace in his sleep anymore.... as the wedding drew closer, his nightmares got worse. They started up again on the fourth night of the preparations, Loki had a dream about Laufey, and Jotunhiem, it felt real, but it was hazy and foggy. But now they were getting very clear and very vivid. He'd wake up in a cold sweat, several times he forgot what was real and felt fear even after he woke up, then remembered that he'd successfully put that life behind him.
He didn't know why they were coming back, he had been able to free his mind of the nightmares for a while, only having one occasionally, but now he was having them almost every night again, like when Frigga first brought him home.
He was angry, he was angry at Laufey and Ilkay for haunting him even after they died, and he was angry at himself for not being able to defeat the dreams. Every time he woke up screaming, or leapt out of bed in a fright, he imagine that Trinity was next to him. He knew she would be understanding, but after a while, would she grow tired of dealing with it? It was exhausting for him, surely it would be for her too. He kept hearing Ilkays words echoing around his head; 'your fiancé won't put up with you for long...'.
"She's just trying to control you" he told himself one night after a particularly bad nightmare.
It kept happening though, and every day it became harder and harder to handle, the wedding was getting closer and closer, and the nightmares weren't stopping, they were getting worse, and every time he saw Trinity, who he loved more Than anything, all he could think was that his inability to make it through a night would push her away...
"Pathetic creature" loki could barely hear laufeys taunting voice through the ringing in his ears. These nightmares were always the worst kind... the ones that weren't arbitrary dreams, but were memories.
"I didn't mean to tear it..." Loki groaned, his half conscious body laying limp on the cold stone ground as Laufey beat the life out of him. He had been putting books away in the library, but the stack was so heavy that his weak and broken arms could barely lift them, he tripped over a ledge in the flood and dropped the books, and as he was picking them up, he noticed that one of them had torn. Laufey was on him immediately, whips and irons ready.
"Yes, But mistake aren't tolerated" Laufey hissed at Loki, who could barely move anymore. Laufey had been torturing him for a long time, the cell floor was stained with fresh blood, Loki knew his ribs were all broken, and his back was almost all exposed and raw skin.
Loki turned his head slightly to see Laufey, who was picking up a long silver rod, Loki didn't know what it was at first, then he saw sparks light up the end of it; Laufey was going to electrocute him.
"No.. no please, please-" he couldn't Speak when Laufey jammed the rod into his side and he felt the searing pain of electricity coursing through him. He screamed until his throat was raw, but Laufey still didn't stop it. Loki would've moved, but his muscles were frozen, he couldn't do anything. After what felt like forever Laufey finally stopped. Loki could barely breath, but Laufey grabbed him around the neck and dragged him to his feet.
"Stand"Laufey ordered, letting go of Lokis neck, but his legs went limp and he collapsed. There was no way he could hold himself up after that amount of electricity.
"Don't want to stand? Fine, I'll give you some motivation" Laufey sneered, he grabbed Lokis broken left arm and literally dragged him out of the room. Loki tried not to groan in pain as Laufey dragged him around by a broken limb. Loki tried to get to his feet so he wasn't being dragged across the rough stone floor, but it just wasn't possible.
"I think you'll want to be able to stand in a minute" Laufey said, he opened a door and tossed Loki into a seemingly empty room. Loki crumbled to the ground and heard the door slam. He was confused, why did Laufey dump him here? But then He heard a chilling clicking sound coming from across the room. He tried to make his muscles work, he could shift his position enough to see that he wasn't the only thing in the room, there were three creatures at the other end of the room, they looked like rodents, but they were the size of dogs. Loki had had run ins with these before, he fought a few in laufeys arena, and he remembered vividly their razor sharp teeth and needle like claws.
"No..." he whimpered under his breath, these things were a nightmare to fight when he had full use of his muscles, now he was limp, and they seemed to know it.
"I'll let you out as soon as you get to your feet" Loki heard Laufey say from the other side of the door.
"Please.. please I can't" Loki begged, but the creatures were getting closer, and Loki knew they'd attack at any moment. "Please laufey! Please I'll do whatever you want!" Loki screamed, his voice rough and ragged. But Laufey never answered, the next second, the creatures jumped on Loki, ripping him to shreds; they bit chunks out of his flesh, and he felt their claws slicing across his skin. Laufey stood casually on the other side of the door, listening to the agonized screams of his son, but doing nothing to stop his pain.
"Loki relax, it's not real" Loki was trying to get his frozen muscles to Move but they just wouldn't work. He heard Laufey talking calmly through his screaming, but it didn't make any sense.
"It's just a dream Loki, wake up" laufeys voice suddenly wasn't Laufey, but Trinity.
Loki sat up with a jolt and immediately jumped out of bed, panic still racing through his mind. He backed up into the wall, feeling like those creatures were still present and he needed to get away.
"It's okay. It's okay" Trinity said, seeing the terror on his face. "It was just a dream. You're safe" she said, walking around the bed to where he was. He was drenched with sweat by now, but his breathing was slowing to a normal pace as his mind arrived back to reality. He took a deep breath and nodded, wiping his forehead.
"Yeah.... just a nightmare.." he told himself as he walked back over to his bed and dropped down to sit. He put his head in his hands, visibly frustrated.
"How long have you been having nightmares?" Trinity asked as she sat down next to him. He turned to look at her.
"Since the wedding planning started" he told her. She looked a little bit worried.
"Oh.... is it because you're having second thoughts?" She asked him, wondering if he was going to call it off.
"No" he said quickly "no, not at all, it's just that....." he hesitated for a minute. "When I was talking to Ilkay after the trial, she said that you would get tired of... this. Of the nightmares, of all the baggage I carry with me, and the more I try to make them stop, they harder it is" he told her. She looked confused.
"And you think she might be right?" She asked him.
"Normally no, but then I realize that it wouldn't be all that unreasonable. you won't want to deal with-" he was surprised to be cut off by her slapping him hard across the face. He jumped a bit and looked stupefied.
"Wha-" he was seriously confused now.
"How dare you" she looked pretty mad. "You think I'm that shallow? You think I'd leave you because you have nightmares? I don't care Loki, I love you, and if you think that your nightmares will drive me away then your out of your mind" she sounded mad and a bit aggressive, and Loki thought she might slap him again. "What are you thinking? How could
You even think that was a possibility? I love you, you idiot" she said in frustration, then grabbed his face and kissed him. When she let go, loki looked lost and confused.
"You're confusing me" he said honestly. She sighed and tried to think rationally. He didn't mean to offend her, he just had a lot going through his head.
"I don't mind the nightmares Loki, and I would never get annoyed by it. It's not your fault Laufey did those things to you. So don't think I'll leave, or grow tired of it, and don't think you have to hide or suppress it. I want to be there with you through this stuff" she told him. He felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, he knew in his head that she wouldn't leave him, but it was still reassuring to hear her say it herself.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have doubted it" he said back. She nodded.
"You're right, you shouldn't have" she said, then gently kissed forehead. "Get some sleep. You need it, we'll be married in three days" she said with a small smile before getting up and leaving his room.

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