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20: Magick

Everything around me is a bright, ethereal blue. 

I blink, trying to get my vision to adjust, but there is so much cyan light I can't tell if there's anything around me at all. Every cell in my body tingles like static as I struggle to roll onto my side. I reach out my hands, feeling the floor around me.

I'm still inside the crystal cavern.

The chrysallite is no longer stuck to my hands and I don't feel it anywhere on the cavern floor beside me. Maybe that's why the blistering pain finally stopped. 

Thank goodness it stopped.

I blink slowly. My eyelids feel heavy and my brain tinges with dull discomfort. Keeping my eyes open to the bright blue light only makes the ache in my head grow more intolerable. I close my eyes and lay my head against the floor, drawing in long breaths.

I touched the chrysallite. What does that mean? Do I have magick now?

If I do, I can't feel it. I feel nothing besides the dull pressure in my head, the weight of my eyelids, and the cool stone of the cavern floor against my skin. 

Maybe it didn't work. Maybe Draconians are the only ones who can use the chrysallite.

Memories flicker through my aching head.

My mother pets my hair and rocks me in her arms as I cry into her shoulder. She pulls me into her warm embrace when I show her my first drawing. She holds my hand as we walk through the forest and come to a large clearing, the clearing with the lake.

I tremble awake from my nightmare to Master Synn's soft touch, petting my head after my awful dream. I feel him pull me into his arms and hold me close. He sits across the table, listening intently as I tell him about my home. My drawings sit framed in his home. I remember his smile, his warm chest, and his caring gaze.

And the memories slip away, like twisting sands trickling through an hourglass.

They're replaced with all my visions of suffering; the same ones that prompted me to reach out and hold the chrysallite. Those memories surge through me, calling to life a feeling in my chest that swells all the way until it reaches my fingertips.

The sensation is so unfamiliar, I recognize what it must be without hesitation.

Magick. I have magick.

Master Synn told me how to find my own magick.

My body twists and recoils at the thought; another unfamiliar sensation. My chest tightens and a new thought splinters in my head.

He was just using me. I was never anything to him, besides a plaything.

I press my fingertips against my throbbing temples as the whisper repeats.

I was more than that to him...I thought.

A black, slithering emptiness twists in my heart. It makes me feel sick enough to vomit. And I do vomit, right in the center of the cave. The blueness around me fades back to the dark purple of the crystals on all sides. 

Only then do I notice the chrysallite beside me. Colorless. Translucent. Empty.

I tuck it in my clothes and push myself up from the ground. My legs wobble and I wonder if I might fall over before I regain my footing. Besides the seething sensation in my chest and tingling of my cells, I don't feel powerful. My muscles don't ache as deeply as they did in the cage, but I'm still weak enough to wobble.

I'm still weak. Even with magick, I'm still a weakling.

Fury scorches my heart and I clench my hands, sucking in hard breaths of air.

The sound of branches shifting at the cave entrance startles me. My heart jolts and a wave of blue lightning bursts from my fingertips and strikes the bush, obliterating it. Right as the strike hits the bush, I see it was just an animal entering the cave, but it's too late.

I have magick! But...

My eyebrows clench together and I gaze at the small, innocent animal lying scorched to death beside the bush. I shudder and vomit again, not sure if it's because my body is stressed from the crystal or if I'm upset at myself for killing an innocent creature. 

Back by the lake, I sat back on the soft forest grasses and cherished the sounds and company of these animals. I often brought them herbs to nibble on and berries as treats, but now...

I shake my head, trying to keep myself from feeling upset. 

This is who I am now. Those things that happened before are a different life; they're in the past. I'm a different person. A powerful person, who controls magick.

Channeling my confidence, I step around the dead body and stretch my arms into the air, relishing in my new power.

I didn't even MEAN to kill that creature. That's how easy it was. That's how powerful I am now.

The power surges alongside my emotions, boiling through my veins as if to remind me that it's here to stay. This magick, this vessel through which I can control my own life and everything else around me, fully belongs to me now.

And I love it.

I wonder if I should go back to the cave at the top of the mountain to show Vylek and the others just how much stronger I am now or if I should leave and hone my power to protect myself if they come to find me.

I want to fight them right now. Surely I could if the magick came to me so easily...

Before I can head back up the mountainside, a twig crunches ahead and my eyes flicker to the source of the sound. My breath catches in my throat and my heart freezes. 

Pale white eyes meet mine. The gaze steadies on me, flickers down to the dead animal behind me, and rises back to meet mine. A pang of sadness flickers in those eyes, gripping my heart and twisting it in my chest.

Master Synn.