I Can't Think Inside This Box! a book about autism

autism in all its forms

Autism is, of course, a spectrum. If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. While we may share some characteristics and habits, we are not all the same, and what works for one may not work for another. 

Aspergers has been the name for "high-functioning" autism for many years, though as it turns out on this burger was a pretty terrible person and we just say autistic now. There's no need to separate autistic people from other autistic people, it's harmful and pointless.

We autistic adults don't really like the terms "high functioning" and "low functioning" either and it's time to phase them out. It often turns out that a nonverbal "low functioning" person is "functioning" just fine in their head, maybe better than a neurotypical person, but is trapped in their body or mind for one reason or another. When they begin to speak, quite often everyone is amazed and then rapidly sorry they treated the person however they did.

We need to treat all autistic (and other people with disabilities and/or neorodivergence) as if they are just as intelligent as anyone else, as if they understand and feel as much as everyone else, and maybe even more so to all three of those things. 

And behavior is ALWAYS a form of communication. Nonverbal people communicate often very well, if we're paying attention. My daughter has a good friend who is nonverbal, but they communicate just fine and play together (yes, autistic kids can play with and not just alongside other kids, it's true) like any other kids would. When he wants her to chase him, he grabs her hand and tugs and runs a few steps. He couldn't be saying "chase me" louder if he had a bullhorn and the capability of spoken word. When he wants to leave, he gives his mom her purse. He communicates just fine.

There are times when my daughter loses her words and I've learned to tell from her actions what she is trying to communicate or what she needs. When I'm really tired or upset I can't talk either. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't make the words come out. So being nonverbal is relatable to me to some extent. This transfers into my social media presence as well; sometimes I'm really loud and in hard times i'm really quiet. But the feelings and intent is still there in people even if the words aren't; the intelligence and thoughts and emotions are still there. 

Words aren't that important anyway.

And sometimes we can't control the tone of our words. If I'm annoyed, my tone is annoyed. I'm not mad at the person I'm talking to, though it may sound that way. I just get to the point where I can't control my tone and people that don't know me would think I was being a total bitch, when really I'm just literally talking as best as I can. There are levels of talking; talking while controlling the words that come out and the tone, talking with no tone/volume control, and not talking at all or just resorting to sounds and noises. 

There are some different ways to refer to autism. We have the newest diagnosis given to anyone who is autistic: ASD or Autism Spectrum Disorder. We autistic adults generally prefer *not* to use "Person First" language. With Person First language you would say "Jose has autism" instead of "Jose is autisic". This is often done to "separate" the person from their autism, and excuse my language but it's bullshit. This often goes hand in hand with organizations who are searching for "a cure" for autism (we're looking at you, Autism Speaks) and are often ableist. They see autism as a bad thing and something to separate yourself from, something to get rid of and "fix", and it's incredibly harmful.

Especially if your loved one is autistic and feels as if they need fixing, and should be separate from something that is part of their neurological makeup. Yikes. 

Of course it's important to respect everyone's individual choice as to how they identify and prefer to be addressed.

In conclusion, I hate conclusions, let's go to the next part.😊