Never Kiss a Toad

Chapter Fifty-Five: Part 2

"Lady Sarah," Piero corrected.

"Yes... Lady Sarah. Though she herself gave me leave to call her Sally."

"The devil she did!" Toad took a step toward Gills again, but fell back when Piero rose just slightly from his seat. 

Gills laughed. "She would be pleased to know you are so indignant on her behalf, but I assure you, she did. We have cultivated quite an interesting friendship these many months. Friendship, Harburn. Pray do not hit me again. Friendship is all I can claim with Sally, for her heart has no room for any man but you."

"She... but you... She said that?"

"Many, many times, Harburn. She is quite dull on the subject. I have had to be rather stern with her to force any topic but 'Toad this, David that, Lord Abersham's last letter...' She was at risk of losing her dance partners, for it has been obvious for months... years... she will accept none but you."

Toad felt heat rise in his face, but at the same time, the animalistic side of himself, that had probably just broken Gildeforte's nose, curled up and purred in this gut.

But it rose again as Gildeforte continued, "That said, even after the scandal, the unmarried, titled gentlemen of London are collectively saddened Haverford took his pretty daughter off to the other side of the world." 

Running a hand through his hair, Toad said, "They cannot be more saddened than I."

"Oh, I can well see why. If ever there existed a creature who could tempt me to change my mind about matrimony..." Gills managed to produce an artistic sigh, looking upwards at the ceiling. "I don't mind telling you, Harburn, I cannot forget the taste of her."

"There is no man in the world I will allow to consider Sally Grenford's taste. I think you are baiting me, and I do not like it."

Gildeforte shrugged, the sly smile back on his lips. "If you have such serious intentions, Abersham, then why are you in bed with half of Europe?"

Toad's mouth fell open. "In bed with... bite your tongue, sir! Even were that true—which it most certainly is not—I will not have such slander reflect on Lady Sarah. I will not have it! I have done no such... Not since... I have done nothing to be ashamed of. Not since—"

"The Comtesse de Lodève? That did not show any sort of discernment, Abersham. I have heard she is hedonistic beyond compare, but she has had every man under thirty in France, and many in the rest of Europe."

Piero snickered, and Toad's eyebrows rose. "You heard about that...? You?"

"Not just me, Abersham. Everyone. Including Sally." Piero's smile fell into a frown and Toad dropped into a chair, his head falling into his hands. "And that wasn't the worst of it."

Toad ground his teeth nearly to dust, trying not to take out the news on the messenger. "It is entirely overblown, you understand. And the worst is wholly untrue."

"Sally assumed as much." He looked away. "Or, at least, she said so. I did not discuss it in detail with an innocent, of course. I am sorry, Harburn."

"I have not been perfect, but if these rumours have given Sal the impression I do not honour and value her, I will find the source of the gossip and cut it off at the root."

"I can give you two possibilities but have proof of neither."

"Go on," Piero said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Toad had met few men as skilled, or as ruthless, at scheming; he was lucky to have Piero on his side. As Gills expounded, Piero's expression fell into what Toad called his 'Italian court intrigue face,' which had hardened considerably since they had trained in weaponry with Captain Hawley and travelled as members of his crew.

"The first is a mushroom called Crowhurst, who says he knew you in France."

"Crowhurst!" Toad flew up out of his chair to pace the floor again. "I haven't considered him in a long time! What has Crowhurst to say about anything?"

"You would do well to consider everything about him, as he uses every breath to speak ill of you, and he does not restrain himself in exalted company."

"We were schoolboy enemies, and I protected a girl from his unwanted attentions when I met him in France – oh, two years ago; I hadn't any notion he was actively working against me."

Gills stopped short and tilted his head. "I'm sorry, Harburn; do you not know? I was certain someone would have told you by now... Surely..."

"Know what?"

"He is the man who attacked Sally at my brother's wedding."

Toad's head spun from the weight of every clue he'd missed. "He is the rapist? Crowhurst? Crowbait is Sal—" Piero had dashed across the room and slammed a hand over Toad's mouth before he could get the name out. 

"Harburn, you bloody idiot. If you cannot keep your voice down when your lady's scandal is on your lips, you do not deserve to keep her. We shall address the situation and the perpetrator in due course—once you are thinking clearly." Piero shoved Toad into the nearest seat. "Now, sit and be silent until you can control yourself."

Seating himself back in his chair with as much dignity as he could muster, Piero addressed himself to Gills. "You said you had two suppositions. Who is the second?"

"The second is—I'm sure you can guess, Harburn—your cousin, Lady Athol Soddenfeld."

"Yes," Toad said, breathing deeply to contain his rage to Piero's wiser timetable. "Jewel is a harpy of the highest order. And she hates Sally. She always has."

"Her husband is as bad, for he is one of the men who hoped Haverford would throw Sally out of the house. He gave one of his mistresses her marching orders just a week ago; speculation was he planned to replace her with Lady Sarah Grenford. Assuming, of course, he could fight off ten other men with the same plan."

Toad stopped in his tracks and just stared. "He could not be so stupid. I will see him dead first. Even if I were not here, my father would kill him. Or Firthley."

"Or Lady Julia herself. As I said, I may not have the whole of it, so I do not suggest you base a decision to commit murder on my speculations. It is all moot now that Haverford has removed the lady from our midst. However, if your enemy is a suitor for her hand, Harburn—or for her favours—trying to improve his chances, I must say, that does not much narrow the field."

"Yes, she is too popular for my own good. That is the only advantage to Haverford's actions. She has been taken away from rogues like you."

Gildeforte's lips turned up. "Indeed. A sad day for the rakes of London."

Piero tensed, but didn't rise from his seat. 

"I will hit you again, without compunction." 

"Not if you warn me beforehand," Gills quipped, rising and setting his empty brandy glass on the table. "Come. I must change my attire, and then we can go in search of supper in some locale where we will not yet be the primary topic of conversation. We can get back to St. James and be tucking into a meal in under an hour."

"Gildeforte is right on that, at least," Toad said, mournfully. "Word will travel through London in no time, which is one miserable reason I should not have hit him. Now I must see my parents before my father petitions the queen to remove me from the succession entirely, and how I shall explain myself, I do not know."