Confetti it's a Parade Book 2

When Did You Know?

The signs were subtle at first. Subtle enough that you easily missed them, living in the bliss you thought your relationship was.

You had fallen in love with Sam almost a year ago after helping him and his brother on a hunt. You had gotten swept in with his uniquely colored hazel eyes, the quiet way he went about. He wasn't like any of the other hunters that you had gotten wrapped up in him, and you began to wonder if this was it. This was the man you were meant to settle down with. Even while still hunting.

But as time passed, you began to wonder if you were the only one interested in keeping this relationship going. Sam often found excuses to keep you back at the bunker, stuck on research duty.

It was one of these days that you found yourself wandering the large tomb you called home, bored out of your mind. Sam and Dean had been gone for almost four days, and you were ready to have someone to talk to once again. To not sleep alone in bed one more night.

Stepping into the office Sam had taken over as his own, you noticed the dust all over the place. Books were piled everywhere, along with some empty glasses and plates. Deciding to surprise him when he got back, you began tidying up the place. Taking the dishes back to the kitchen, coming back with a dusting rag. Cleaning up the desk, you turned to the bookcase when you accidentally knocked over a pile of notes.

Sighing in annoyance, you kneeled down, piling them all together when one caught your eye. Like most of the other's, it was written in Sam's handwriting. But this wasn't certain notes about a spell or a book he had read. This was almost like a diary. There were about four sheets, each one with a date at the top, filled front to back.

Knowing you should just put them back in the pile and forget about them, you couldn't help it when you saw your name. Sitting down on the floor, you began reading, your heart plummeting with each word.

Sam talked about his brother, and the frustrations he felt with him. But mainly he talked about you. How he cared about you but didn't love you.

You didn't realize that tears were slipping down your cheeks until they smeared the ink on the page. Hastily wiping them away, you shoved the rest of the paper back onto the desk, taking the diary pages with you.

Tossing them on your bed, you pulled out your suitcase. Opening a random drawer, you began tossing your belongings inside. As you reached in and pulled out one of Sam's faded shirts that you wore to bed, you felt your knees giving out, and you slid to the ground.

Feeling like your heart had been shot, you hugged the shirt as tight as you could, letting into the tears. It hurt, knowing that the man you loved with all of your heart didn't love you in return.

An hour could have passed, or just twenty minutes, you weren't sure. Footsteps echoed in the hallway, but before you could scramble to your feet, Sam came striding into the bedroom. He stared down at you in shock, his eyes widening when he noticed the papers behind you.

"Y/N, those weren't....you weren't meant to see those," he stuttered, reaching out to take them.

"Well, maybe you should have let me go on some of the hunts with you then," you mumbled, standing up and continuing to pack. "I wouldn't have been bored out of my mind waiting for you to come back!"

"Y/N, sit down. We can talk about this, figure it out," Sam pleaded, and you turned to face him. Every agonizing emotion you were feeling was etched on your face, and he took a step back, shocked by the pain you were suffering.

"When was it that you realized that you didn't love me?" You asked him quietly. "Was it that night you came home smelling like another woman's perfume? Or was it the night that I almost died trying to save you?"

"Y/N, I never cheated on you," he insisted.

"Tell me!"

"Y/N, it was the night I thought I had to choose between you and Dean," he answered, and you sank back onto the bed, trying to catch a breath. "It was the moment that I knew I would always choose Dean that I realized maybe I didn't love you as much as I should."

"So, I guess this is goodbye," you whispered, pulling the suitcase to you and zipping it up.

"It doesn't have to be!" He argued. "You could stay, and hunt with us. I promise I won't force you to stay back anymore."

"Sam, I can't do that," you told him. "I can't stay here, seeing you every day knowing that I couldn't have you. What if you found someone else? I don't think I could handle that. So, I think it's best if I go."

"Stay, at least tonight. Things might look different in the morning," he tried once again, but you shook your head. With your suitcase rolling behind you, you walked beside him. With your cheeks tearstained, you stood on your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his cheek before walking down the hallway and away from the man you had thought you would spend the rest of your life with.