Embraced by darkness

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The sound of a door closing prompted my eyes to open again, nervously scanning the room for any danger, for him. His presense was gone, only the lingering cedar scent of him remaining, I was alone again. A silent sigh of relief left me as I opened the top drawer of the dresser, my eyes running over the vibrant pieces of clothing inside. Everything was so neatly folded that I felt apprehensive even touching the stacks of clothes. I carefully removed a black pair of sweatpants and a soft red t-shirt from the drawer. I placed the clothes on top of the dresser, as I peeked into the second drawer. I lifted a pair of pure white tennis socks from the drawer, my hand stopping in mid air as my eyes fell on the underwear. My stomack turned at the tought of putting on panties that he had picked out for me. I looked at the carefully folded selection. There were a few normal comfy looking cotton ones in there, but my eyes got stuck glaring at a thin flimsy white seethrough thong. It would barely cover anything while at the same time hiding nothing. I wanted to burn it, to destroy the white offending fabric. Does he expect me to parade around in front of him wearing that monstrosity? I gazed over at the bras, there lying next to a black sports bra was the matching white bra. The same shamelessly seethough material as the thong. Hell would freeze over before I ever put that thing on. I grabbed a pair of cotton panties and a sports bra, not caring about messing up the neatly folded stacks of fabric anymore. I was pissed off, pissed off and scared. His perverse lustfilled expectations of me filling my entire body with dread.

I went into the bathroom closing the door firmly behind me. I proceded to dropp the new clothes on the pristine white tiled floor, undressed, and achingly eyed the bathtub. It was a huge white crater built down into the floor, rooming two maybe three adults. A long warm bath in that hulking thing would feel realy amazing, but the thought of him possibly entering the bathroom while I lay there exposed drowned the idea all together. So I got in the shower instead, turning the chrome dial, letting the warm water encase my body, relaxing my sore limbs. I had been so tense, so alert for so long that my whole body ached from it. And I just stood there for the longest time, letting the heated droplets cascade down my body, loosing track of time as I relished the heat soothing my aching limbs.

Two powerful bangs on the bathroom door startled me out of my daze. The water was luke warm against my skin now. I hurredly turned the dial on the wall, stopping the flow of water.

"Iris!" The hollar was slightly muffled by the sealed door. My body tensed at the sound, I opened my mouth to answer, but my reply was cut short as the door to the bathroom crashed into the wall. Cold air rushed into the steamy bathroom, as his bulk appeared in the doorway.

"No! Close the door! I shrieked, as I spun around, my back now facing the door, facing him. I pressed my hands against the cold white tiles in front of me, regaining control of my balance.

"I cant" He said his voice firm. The sound of him comming closer filling me with dread.

"What? Why? Please.. n..n..no." I sobbed the last word. I did not want this, I did not want him to.. Im not ready. I havent come to terms with the thought of him.. of him..

His hard voice interupted my thoughts as they lashed out "You have been in here too damn long!" I flinched as his words hit me, my lips trembling. The next words leaving his mouth a few breaths later were gentle "I need you to show me your arms love" The soft spoken endearment sounded perverse comming from his lips. "I need to know if you.. if you hurt yourself.» He added, his silken voice right behind me now.

I realized that he tought that I had tried to cut myself, to end my own life just to escape him. He pushed the misted seethough shower wall to the side, no barrier between us anymore. I was shaking so hard, my breath uneaven, tears mingling in with the droplets of water clinging to my skin.

"I am not going to hurt you" His velvet voice promised into my ear as a soft fluffy material was pressed securely against my back. No, please no, my mind silently begged. He slid the fabric around my waist, encasing me in the bright white fluffy towel, shielding my body from his own prying eyes. I let out a low whimper as he gingerly turned me around in his solid grip. His hands roamed over my arms, searching for any trace of self harm, and found none.

He pressed me against his chest, a sigh of relief escaping his lips, his tense body slowly relaxing. My body calmed a little bit against him, due to him covering me up instead of savagely violating me in the shower.

"Im sorry" He whispered against my cheek, the soft-spoken admission made me turn my head, facing him. The tips of our noses brushed up against eachother, breaths intermingling, as I searched his eyes for answers.

I stood there in his arms, my wet body soaking through his clothes. His arms were around my waist, supporting me. His slightly shocked cinnamon eyes filled with relief that turned into anguish as they took me in.

"You where in a state of shock last night" He stated, his breath mere inches away from my face. "You didnt come to the livingroom. I heard that the shower was still on... I was worried that.. that you.. with one of my razors.. that I was to late... I was so sure that I would find you..." His pain tintet voice broke. I stared up into his now glaced eyes. Suprised by the sight of a single tear braking free, trailing down his smooth ashen face.

I lifted my hand, which was squeezed inbetween our soaking bodies, and glided it across his soft skin, brushing the salty tear away. He blinked, taken aback by my sudden softening inclination towards him. He leaned his warm cheek into the palm of my hand closing his eyes to me, hiding the torment within.

"I promise that I will never intentionaly hurt myself" I assured him, for some odd reason wanting to rid his face of the pained expression clinging to it. His strong emotions unnerved me, but at the same time lightly pulled at the strings inside my heart.

"I will never harm you either, I will keep you safe" He promised back. He moved his head slightly to the side, and I felt his lips gently press against the palm of my hand, placing a butterfly kiss. My stomack did a tiny flip at the gesture, and I could almost taste the intoxicating smell of cedar, the smell of him. So very, very close, as I gazed into his relaxed face resting in the palm of my hand.

The presure around my waist dissapeared as he removed his arms, setting me free. He tok a step back, the warmth from his body leaving mine as cold air filled the void. My hand fell from his cheek, and joined my other hand at the top of the towel, holding it securely in place.

"Ill let you get dressed" He said, as he turned around, his back facing me. His t-shirt clung to his torso like a second skin in some places. The white wet fabric was becomming slightly translucent, giving me a slight hint at the promise that lay beneath. He pulled at the soaked fabric, and I found myself staring at his damp back. At the way his toned muscles moved underneath his lightly tanned skin as he slid the wet fabric up his breathtaking torso. I bit my bottom lip, adding moisture to it with my tounge, as my eyes glided up his backside, following in the wake of his shirt. He pulled the shirt over his head, giving me a full view of his uncovered masculine back. I swallowed, trying to moisten my parched throat as well as my lips. A tingling warmth filling me.

"You know love" His velvet voice drawled as he held out his arm, dropping the wet shirt into the hamper on his right side. "You are allowed to touch me, you dont have to limit yourself to just looking."

A shamefull red invaded my face at his words. I had been ogling him, I had been ogling the man holding me captive, and he had caught me doing it. My stricken blue eyes met his sparkling cinnamon ones reflected in the mirror just a bit to his left. The amusement spread from his eyes and lit up his entire face. He had caught me practicaly drooling over him again.

His smile dimmed as he took in my expression reflected back at him.

"Being attracted to me doesnt make you a bad person" He told me, the amusement gone from his voice.

No, I thought, it makes me twisted one.

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