Chapter 12- I'll Look After You

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This is the song Chris sings :)


I hesitate outside of our room with my head on the door, key card poised above the processor. I have no idea how I am supposed to face him now, after I stormed off like a child.

Will he laugh at me? Will he kick me out?

I take a deep breath and shove open the door with humorous weakness. Immediately, I hear Chris bolt upright from the window but I don't raise my eyes to look at him. I can't.

"Thank God," he whispers and he wraps me in those huge arms. "I thought you left! Robert and Pratt have been searching for you for hours. Where have you been?" He holds me at arm's length and gazes intently into my eyes. I try to erase any emotion that may be lingering there but I can't disguise the tear trails. "Why are you crying, Tommy?" His own eyes begin to fill and, in turn, my lips tremble involuntarily.

He's an actor, Tom! He doesn't care about you, really. Nobody does. Mum is right, you're worthless. You should have tried harder to just...die

"I apologise humbly for acting so pathetically," I smile as huge tears force their way down my cheeks. Traitors. "You don't have to worry about me anymore, Chris. I'll stay out of your way."

I can't leave, I know that, but I can at least help the guy give up the pretense of caring about me.

I can help him hate me, like he's supposed to.

Chris just lets go of me, shock adorning that handsome face of his.

For a moment, I am terribly worried I made a huge mistake, but when he steps back, I know I did the right thing.

I stagger to my bed and glance at my reflection in the bathroom mirror across the room. Bruised, skinny, pathetic, ugly.

How could I ever hope to be wanted by anybody?

Chris lowers himself onto the bed near the window, watching the traffic below him in apathy. I blink at the mirror, incapable of feeling anything other than utter emptiness. I'm a nasty human being. Malicious, I dare say. I'll just stop speaking.

I'll ask Taika to give my role to somebody else and I'll become invisible, just like I always have been-,

"What brought this on?" Chris asks suddenly and I don't answer. He sighs and floats towards me, collapsing onto my bed with a heavy thud. He looks so exhausted, my heart clenches at the sight of him. "Tom?" I don't look at him. Don't look at him! "Tommy, look at me." I look at him.

He smiles kindly but there is something else behind the gesture.

Resentment? Hesitation? No, hurt.

I am hurting him.

"I can't keep doing this to you," I whisper and my voice cracks. "I hurt everybody I love, Chris. I'm a monster."

"And who told you this?"

"I've come to the conclusion. People have helped me along the way."

"Well they're all wrong; you're wrong!"

"Please, you hardly know me."

"I know you enough to see that you were handed a shitty card in life, Tom. Things have been hard for you and I understand, but you're here now. Scarlett, Pratt, Evans, Rob... those guys adore you. I adore you and you've been here for..." he checks his watch, "Four days and seventeen hours,"

Impressively, I manage to chuckle and sob at the same time.

Chris sniffs and lies beside me.

"You have to be nice to me, you're a director." I cough, loving the way Chris tightens his arms around me in an unspoken disagreement. "People have never liked me before, why would they start now?"

"People are idiots but this place is different. Give us the chance and we become your family."

"And you date your family?" I laugh. "You and Natalie are...what, romantic siblings?"

"We're not dating!" Chris gasps and the way his face crumples in horror makes my heart sing. "She's, like, an annoyingly clingy sister with attachment issues and a nice singing voice!"

"Is that so?" I breathe, blushing when he lies on my bed fully. My head falls onto his chest but he lifts it with his left hand, the other still wrapped firmly around my waist. "I don't think I believe you, Mr Hemsworth."

He grins, his eyes lighting up like a damned Christmas tree.

"Well, Mr Hiddleston, if I were dating Miss Portman, would I do this?"

He closes the distance between us and my brain doesn't even process the small fact that CHRIS HEMSWORTH IS KISSING ME!

I am completely frozen for the first few seconds but when Chris gently prods my lip with his tongue, my nerve endings explode and I melt into his embrace like stringy cheese.

He reaches around me to grip my left leg and sling it over his waist. I comply and hoist myself upwards to straddle him. Our lips refuse to part as I wrap my hands around his neck and shoulder.

He feels so good; I take a moment to commemorate him by running my imploring fingers through his beautiful hair and pressing my hips into his groin. The sounds he makes are delicious, there is no doubt about it, but soon we have to pull away.

It's crazy; did you know humans need oxygen to survive?

At this moment, I really wish we didn't because his flustered face and blissful expression make me want to dive back in.

My first kiss.

Chris Hemsworth was my first kiss and it couldn't have been any better.

"Have I changed your mind, Mr Hiddleston?" he pants and I kiss the corner of his arrogant smirk. He pulls me down so I am lying on his broad chest, curled like a sleepy cat. "I really hope I have. I've been waiting to do that to you since your first night."

"You're so perverted, Christopher," I grin, nuzzling my face against his neck. His hands crawl down my spine to squeeze my ass and I yelp. "But you have, yes."

"Promise me you won't make up stupid theories about us disliking you ever again?"

"I promise," I sigh. "Although, maybe don't tell people that you and I are family. I have never really been a fan of incest."

Chris chuckles and I hear the reverberation through his chest. "Agreed, Mr Hiddleston. Incest-free relationships really do butter my bread."

"Weirdo," I giggle as the exhaustion takes over my body. I'll rest my eyes, just for a little while.I was wrong. I was so wrong. How wrong I was has physically exhausted me.

"Go to sleep," Chris suggests, resting his hands protectively across my shoulder and spine. "I'll be right here."

I have never felt so safe in my entire fifteen years. He begins to sing softly, and if possible, I fall even deeper for the young man beneath me.

"When I'm losing my control

The City spins around

You're the only one who knows

You slow it down

Oh, oh

Oh, oh

Be my baby

Oh, oh

Oh, oh

Oh, oh

Be my baby

I'll look after you."

I'll look after you.


I know, finally! It's literally chapter 12 and they've only just kissed. I'm a monster.

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