The Dead's Voice

502 17 5

Writer: soappington

Genre: Paranormal


1. I don't feel that the cover accurately represents the story. Perhaps the bird on the cover symbolizes the feathers in Kate's hair, but I did not find any other connections between the cover and the story. It could be changed to something that more accurately represent the story. It is attention-grasping, but I expected a different sort of book when I first glanced at the cover. 

2. The title fits the story extremely well! It is attention grasping, and the reader can link the title with the story almost instantaneously. 

3. The vocabulary and descriptions are very thorough and never overused. I found the dialogue in particular to be extremely original. The story is written in relatable, common language, but the characters use a very lazy yet creative way of speaking. The mix between the slang that the characters speak with and the familiar writing makes the characters seem interesting and easy to connect with. I additionally found the characters' reactions to be relatable. They get themselves into some strange and awkward situations, but they handle themselves realistically. The writing in these situations is very thorough and it makes the reader feel the curiosity, embarrassment, excitement, etc. that the characters experience. 

4. I found few grammar mistakes, but I did notice some areas that lacked a noun/verb agreement. For example, "Kate Ewirn. It was the only words my friend's lips had uttered that caught my attention." In this case, "Kate" and "Ewirn" are two words, which should result in the next sentence beginning with "They were the only words..." I additionally noticed a second sentence that was structured similarly: "This is apparently the type of people my friends used to hang out with." This sentence is referring to "people" (plural), which does not agree with the verb "is" (singular). The sentence could be changed to "This is apparently the type of person my friends used to hang out with," since it is referring to one person in particular. Lastly, I noticed some misused/misspelled vocabulary words and run-on sentences, which threw me off for a moment. For example, in Chapter 1, a steel cross is mentioned, but it is spelled "steal" which was a bit confusing at first. I also noticed a run-on sentence, which made the paragraph a bit difficult to follow: "The sentence had been thrown by Riley, a beefcake with closely cropped blond hair who thought having Swede blood made him immune from being a chav and so walked around in tracksuits."

5. The story keeps a nice pace and it is consistently suspenseful. I was already shocked in chapter two when I connected Ashley and Chris with the same girl, yet they had two entirely different ways of meeting! I also love the difference in characters and how each one is original. This allows the audience to have a variety of characters who they admire or relate to. I find the multiple viewpoints to be very enticing as well. It forces the readers to think about how the characters are connected, and it allows them to read the story from multiple perspectives. 

6. One thing that I noticed that seemed out of place was the timeline. For example, there was a sentence that seemed too drawn out and awkward: "It takes me a few minutes to realize that she'd been attempting to hand me back a book I probably wasn't going to read and that I'd just been staring at her." By saying "a few minutes," I imagined one girl simply staring at the other for five minutes or so, yet the other didn't react and likely stared back. By changing this to "it takes me a few seconds," the timeline seems much more realistic and understandable. 

The plot of the story is undeniably thought-out and I am extremely excited to see where it leads! The descriptions are thorough and nicely written and the story moves at a pace that is not too fast nor too slow. It moves at a consistent rate that keeps the audience interested. This is definitely a story that any paranormal/mystery readers will fall in love with (the 2k reads prove how exciting this story is)!



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