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another update, thank you to all my readers for supporting, love you all ♡

one week

it's been one week since the night i text jeno, he hasn't stepped one foot into this room unless he was getting something to wear. i haven't bothered to text him because i know i would get the same answer. "no sorry renjunnie". oh how i was tired of those words.

the weather has just gotten worse since that day, the rain gets heavier every-night and i am started to think maybe mother nature feels my pain. i miss his laugh, the way he would sing me to sleep when it rains, and the way his body felt against mine on the nights he would lay with me.

everyday just gets harder and harder and i hate every moment of it. is jaemin better then me ?? does jaemin make him happier, is there something wrong with me ?? i love jaemin don't get me wrong and i am glad he is back i just wish he never stole jeno from me. but maybe it's because i am older than jeno, he doesn't want to hang out with someone older then him, and maybe he just missed jaemin they have always been close friends.

i just wish that it wouldn't be everyday they hung out and stayed far away from me. i never see them, it's like they avoid me, i just can't help to think these things. i sometimes wish i was never even here, no one would care or notice, they all have someone to hang out with besides me, mark has haechan, chenle has jisung, and of course jeno has jaemin. i am always alone, for weeks it has been this way so it's not like they would notice my presence gone. maybe i should go for a walk around town, it's not that late, sure it is dark but i know my way back home.

i didn't bother to tell them i was leaving so i just grabbed my wallet and headed out. stepping outside i noticed the still heavy rain fall down to the ground, the sound was refreshing but i didn't own a umbrella, i guess a hoodie is good enough. i knew of a little corner just down the street and so that's where i set off to.

the streets were dark, not many of the lights working, i couldn't use my phone light either with my phone only being on 15% and i would need it for the walk back home. my hoodie had become drenched but i was almost at the store, but maybe today god didn't want me to make it to that little store.

yeah so here's a sucky update which is also a day late, sorry guys i have exams tomorrow so i am studying a lot, hope you understand, i love all of you though and thank you so much for reading ♡ also happy birthday taeil ilysm baby ♡

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