I watch the blood drip down my thigh resembling the tear that falls down my cheek.
I think about my daughters. I haven't seen either of them in two weeks. They haven't called and they won't answer my calls. I miss them and it fucking hurts. Everything fucking hurts. I miss Vic and I miss Junior too. I've lost everything I love and I have never felt more alone.
The blade in my hand traces old scars, creating new gashes and blood emerges from my skin. My thigh is covered. I don't remember how long I've been on the bathroom floor hacking at my leg and I don't know when I'll stop. I just want to feel okay.
Part of me is frustrated with myself for resorting back to this but the other part of me doesn't care. I need some sort of release and this will do.
I feel so numb and I don't want to move. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to breathe. I don't want to live.
I notice the door open but I don't even look towards who it is. I don't care.
"Oh no. Mom! Momma!" I hear Ella call as she drops down beside me.
I look to Ella fearfully. Fuck, I never meant for this to happen.
Tay burst in the room with wide eyes.
"El, go get me the first aid kit." she orders.
Ella leaves and Tay drops down beside me. She takes the blade from my shaky hand that's smeared in blood.
"Kell, hey, what are you doing?" Tay says softly.
"I want to die." I admit to her, and it feels like a weight falls off my shoulders.
"Kellin, no. No you don't. You've still got your beautiful daughters and your son is still alive. You don't want to leave your kids, do you, Kells?" she whispers.
"They hate me. They won't even answers my calls." I sob.
"They could never hate you. You're their dad. They love you more than you could ever imagine." she tells me.
"No they don't." I choke.
"We'll clean you up and then I'll prove it to you." she says.
Ella soon returns with the first aid kit. Tay makes her leave then she starts cleaning the cuts on my thigh.
"Tay, I'm so sorry she saw that." I apologize. I know as a parent, I wouldn't want any of my kids to walk in on me or anyone harming themself.
"She's a big girl. She can handle it." Tay says.
She wraps up my legs then pulls me into her arms.
"Sweetie, I know you're struggling but this isn't how you deal with it. You know that. It never helped you before and it's not going to help you now. If you need anything, you can talk to me." she says
I nod and apologize again.
"No need to be sorry." she says. "Come on."
I get ready to leave then she leads me to her car.
"Where are we going?" I ask her as she drives off.
"To see your kids." she chirps.
I sigh and rest my head against the window.
"They won't want to see me." I mumble.
"They will, just trust me." she says.
I just agree with her. We soon arrive at Jaime's and I follow Tay up to the front door. I'm honestly nervous.
YOU ARE READING
No Ordinary Love - Kellic (Sequel to BLBB and MAFT) - boyxboyFanfiction
- Third and final installment in the Unconditional trilogy - "You lied?" "I had no choice." Parenting is HARD Vic and Kellin discover as they raise three kids and things get even more complicated when their youngest, Kellin Junior, hits high school...