I'm back , little groggy from the camping so rushed through this chapter , hope you guys still enjoy 😌 ....
I turn the music to the highest degree in which my ears can handle. I look out my window, as I sit stuck in afternoon traffic.
This has possibly been the longest drive of my life. Not because the busy freeway traffic, NO!! It's because of the weight I feel in my chest the entire drive. It might have been a bad idea to go to Bangkok without Yo.
I really would have liked for Yo's company right about now. I could have waited for another day when he wasn't busy and asked him to tag along. (That would have been interesting for sure, because of the destination I'm headed.)
But I didn't. I decided to drive alone.
I am suffering through this drive because I made a decision. I wanted to be in control of at least something in my life. Engineering was always my first choice. Was I stupid for changing it to business? Yes!!!
Or did she just make me stupid? Yes again!
During my talk with Yo last night, I took a look at my friend. I knew he was extremely worried about me. I wanted to prove to him that I wasn't as messed up as I know I looked. I wanted to bring some hope to him that things would still be ok. But as I am driving toward my cousin's place my thoughts keep haunting me. I feel my resolve sinking as I pass each stop light.
The past few days keep replaying over and over in my head. In random order.
I see my now ex-girlfriend look shocked as we hear our fathers claim our engagement. Did she agree to this? She clearly had no feelings toward me. (As she painfully stated before.)
I see Moowan kissing that bastard in front of me. It raises my anger every time I picture his stupidly attractive face. (It felt sooo good bruising it up a bit.) I was full of so many emotions during that fight. I felt betrayed, anger, sadness.
My tear ducks, which have been unattractively active lately, try to make tears that no longer want to come out. It's too dry and I feel too numb to form them anymore.
Then I see a very broken down Yo. He just lost his home and mom. I know he still hasn't completely got over losing his grandma and for him to have to deal with losing anything more. I don't know how to comfort him and keep him safe anymore.
That's another reason for wanting to get out of that horrid town as fast as possible. I know that he will be well taken care of at the place I am headed. Cause if I can't, then I know someone more the willing to take up the job.
I really don't want to have to resort to this but Yo needs me, so until I get my act together I have to depend on someone else.
I yell in frustration in my car. Why was everything so fucked?!
That's when I hear honking in back from me as the traffic starts to move. I continue my drive, I should be getting close. The city looked busy. I wonder if I will get used to this once I moved here.
"The city is loud and crowded. I'd much rather live here, you lucky bastard."
Remembering those words brings a smile to my agitated face. I wonder if P'Kat still lives here. That guy from last night, brought back so many memories.
It's been seven years since I last saw P'Kat. He was still the same height as me back then.
I had called out to him, and tried to catch up with him before he left the building. It was at a charity auction, I barely made him out in the crowd toward the end. It was agonizing, for my child heart, watching him leave without giving me a single glance.
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By Chance ... You Found Me ( 2moons) (Ongoing)Fanfiction
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