A Prayer Heeded: Chapter 8: ANOTHER WORLD

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God—what should I call Him? A divine power? An omnipotent? A supremacy Who holds everything in His hands? He rules all the games. He decides the players—who wins and who loses. He decides how we play and when we need to drop off. Just like a puppet show where one puppeteer holds all the puppets. He is hidden from us and the rest of the audience, as He operates us and enjoys our game of misery. It's just that we don't see any strings attached to us. He controls us through our minds.

Humankind is considered to be the greatest and noblest of His creations, but I wonder, where is their power? He gave light to angels, gave them a life which is free from taking their own decisions, free from falling in love with anyone. They just obey Him, whatever He commands. How convenient!

On the other hand, He gave immense powers to the Jinn, who could appear in any form if they wanted us to see them. They can rule anybody's mind if they want to. I just don't understand on what basis we are called the best of His creations, when we don't have any power.

My powers failed when Rania begged me to stay with her. God controlled my mind, and I ran away like a freak. Or should I say, my Jinni controlled my mind? God put me on a path to meet her, and then He showed me a path to run away from her. There are actually no words for me to describe Him. All my life, He bestowed on me His goodness, power and blessing. He provided me enough wealth to fulfill all my dreams. He chose me to help others. He answered almost all my silent prayers.

All my life, I denied His existence, but He kept me under His eye. I don't doubt His judgment, and I know why He watched over me even though I denied Him publicly.

People generally recognize God through a miracle. I never imagined acknowledging Him through demons. Yes, I know Rania was not lying. The Jinn truly exist. After Ali said that their existence is revealed in the word of God, I actually searched on the Internet. Still, I have no courage to face her. It has been almost a month since I've seen her. I don't know where she is or what she's doing these days. I didn't have the courage to ask anyone what happened when she saw my interview. I don't know how her father reacted or treated her after I declared my love to her nationwide.

The side of her that she showed me, and the way I ran like a coward, keeps me from confronting her. I know I promised to love and cherish her forever, and made her believe that I would trust her whenever she chose to disclose her past to me, but what she did disclose is beyond my endurance. I'm such a coward that I never bothered to look at how much I might have damaged her. After what I did to her, I don't even have the strength to look at myself in the mirror and confront my own reflection.

I searched for that woman for a whole damn year. Although the thought that she could be Rania did cross my mind a couple of times, still, I never imagined it to be true. I always thought Rania was a normal human being with a hideous past. What she has shown to me, I can't share with anyone.

In all the moments when I confessed my true feelings to her, I kept reminding her how much I love her. I kept telling her that I wouldn't be able to live without her. I know she loved me too, but I never asked myself if she would be able to live without me. But then, when I come to think of it, I am also living without her. The puppet show is still running, ruled by the One and Only Master of the Universe.

I didn't die, mourning her. He has kept me alive through all this. It is a bitter truth, but I'm breathing, I'm sleeping, I'm eating, I'm still cracking million-dollar deals—I'm doing everything a normal person does. My life has not ended. It's just that I've stopped looking at women anymore. She was my wildest fantasy and will remain that, no matter how hard I try.

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