THE FORGOTTEN SMILE

14.

'oh' was Nina's reaction but her oh was so comforting.

'how long did you have your depression' Dylan asked

'you don't have to' Nina grabbed Marcs hand and probably said this because tears where still streaming down my face.

'no you all probably have a lot of questions, so just ask them' I said

'after my dad passed away and my mom got drunk I just kind of slipped in into it' I explained.

'and what was the sentence' Marc asked

'See, no one cares about you. No one will be hurt if you just disappeared'

'that is' Dylan reacted 'so not true'

'no honey, we care about you. You may not have lived here for so long but we do care about you. Dylan does, Marc does, Sadie does and I do' Nina said with one of her comforting smiles

'thank you' I wiped away my tears and sighed deep

'what do you want to do, sleep, eat' Dylan asks when I stand up

'I think I'll just go to sleep. Is it okay if we'll talk about this tomorrow' I asked

'of course sweetheart' Nina said and I started to walk towards the stairs

'oh and' I stopped and turned around 'I want to tell Sadie about what I did, tomorrow'

'whatever you want" Dylan said and he gave me an emotional but comforting look

'sleep well little girl' Marc said and I just knotted.

When I was upstairs I fell on my bed and started to tear up again. You'd think all my tears would be cried but nope, there's more.

I stuck my arm out and stared at the cut I made when I jumped because Dylan opened the door.

It wasn't deep. It just bled so much because I cut open all the other, deeper cuts.

'Maddie' Dylan opened my doors and I quickly lowered my sleeve

'I know this sounds weird but can I just lay next to you' he pointed at my bed with his head

'sure' I shove to the side to make place for Dylan. He laid next to me and stared at the ceiling.

'Dylan' he hummed 'I know that you are shocked and this is a lot to take in' I stopped to grab his hand

'I guess I just want you to know, no question is weird and I'm here for you' Dylan grabbed my hand back and pinched it as a thank you

'it's funny, I used to say that to you and now you need to say that to me' a little laugh escaped Dylan's mouth

'I know' I moved a bit closer towards Dylan

'Maddie, can you show me your wrists' Dylan sat up and so did I

'yes'

I don't know why I showed him this. It's just, the devil on my shoulder kind of disappeared and now I just want to tell Dylan and his family everything because maybe a bit under all those voices. I started to like them and I know I do deserve them

'oh my god' Dylan raised both my sleeves and brushed the cuts lightly with his finger.

'I know' we both looked at my wrists as Dylan touched every last one of my cuts

'when did you do all of these' he didn't look up, I did.

'whenever I was alone' I told him and I looked as his concentrated yet worried eyes. His mouth that was slightly narrowed. His eyebrows that formed a light frown. His hair that had no logic, it stood everywhere and somehow it was cute.

'Dylan' I whispered

'yes' he looked up right into my eyes

'please stay with me' I whispered again

'if that's what you want' I knotted and we just stared into each other's eyes.

He looked at my wrists again and lowered my sleeves

'let's just, sleep' he said and he laid down. I did so to with my back towards him.

'I've never slept with someone in one bed' I confessed slowly

'I will go away if you don't want him' his concern suited him

'no, I just wanted you to know'

'is it okay if lay my hand on you middle' he asked politely

'yes'

'is it okay'

'just do it' I cut him off

'okay, just say if you don't like it' I knotted.

He pulled me closer to him and put his head in my hear. His arms wrapped around my waist.

This isn't me, I would never let anyone do this with me.

But maybe it is me. I mean I asked him and it feels so good. It feels safe, like the devil can't reach me.

Like..

You know when you were little you would chase after each other and yell that with mom you where safe. Right now it feels like the darkness was chasing me and I'm safe with Dylan. He is my safe spot.