Today is the night. Prom night.
I'm kinda excited tho but just because I get to spend it with my three friends and we're gonna dance-rock our asses off.
We were really fucking excited for the food coz we wanted to spend the whole night sitting at our table and eating food. Like seriously food is bae.
Unfortunately the lil fuckers in the organization team are too stupid to handle things and everytime we ask a single question they start insulting us. Like sorry bitchaz but I just wanted to ask...
Which means there is no food. And no drinks. Nothing.
We need to pay for that. And food costs more than 10 bucks there. Like hell nah.
So yeah, we wanted to spend the whole night with eating but I guess this just got cancelled.
*sad violin playing in the background*
You guys are probably asking yourselves what I'm wearing tonight. I'm not gonna post a picture of myself in here coz all this data protection thing stuff confuses me as hell.
It's a long dark blue (with some black beneath) dress with blue glitter on it, sleeveless, shoulder free and it has a neckholder. I'm also wearing black shoes with like 4cm heels.
I really don't wanna see all the fuckers from my year. I really hate them all, coz they treated/and still treat me like shit (not all of them, but a lot of them do).
So, let's say I really really really don't wanna see them.
I don't care about them and I don't wanna have anything to do with any of them. I'm gonna enjoy this evening with my friends and we're going to rock this.
You should know that my friends and I are like the outsiders at our year coz we are nerds. We love books, movies, tv series and music. We refuse to drink alcohol and we refuse to participate in immature and stupid shit our year does. Yep. That's why we are kinda the outsiders.
It got better. I got to know like five people (out of 90) better and they are really nice to me but that's it.
So, we will try to enjoy this. We four against 90. Yeah. (Kinda like in the Save Rock And Roll vid)
My problem is that I'm insecure and I care what people think. (If you don't get this reference then excuse me, could you please leave?)
For real. That sucks. I'm a very open person and I'm like an introvert extrovert mix and I am very outgoing.
Coz sometimes I just start questioning myself. "Am I good enough?" "Why don't people like me, or do they?" "What do they think about me?"... it sucks. And I'm afraid this is going to happen tonight.
Like I'm going to the place by taxi. That is not what scares me. It's when I get out of the taxi and everyone is looking at me.
"Ugh look how ugly she is"
"God tf is she wearing"
"Look at her face haha"
"She looks so stupid"
Those are things that are circling around in my mind.
Why am I like this. Why do I hurt myself with this?
I know that I am a good person. I love myself the way I am and I am proud to be who I am.
So why in the world do I think about things like this?
It's like a curse. A magic spell.
I know that I shouldn't care about what they think as long as it's about me.
I feel very pretty in my prom outfit.
So yeah. Being intro-extro is noooot that funny.
My mom always freaks out whenever I put my dress on. She squeals and jumps up and down and claps and says that I look so beautiful and that I look like a movie star and that everyone else will be blinded by my beauty tonight.
I love her for saying that but I mean she's my mom. She's supposed to say that.
I'm gonna rock my ass off. Dance, Dance and kowabunga. Fuck those assholes *giggles* Imma dance and have fun with my friends.
Btw I hope there is going to be some good music... I hope it's not gonna be some disgusting uzz uzz pop shit nobody wants to listen to. Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy would be great for my self-confidence coz I would belt out the lyrics and literally dance, dance my ass off.
So. Wish me luck.