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Monty, Brad, and Sid were in their own beds. Just three months they decided they wanted to have their own room. Dati kasi tabi-tabi pa kami sa kwarto ko kasama si Arthur. When Arthur asked for his own room last year, sumunod na din ang mga kapatid niya. His little brothers looked up to him. How I wanted to stop time. I wanted them to stay my baby forever.
"Mommy..." I was sitting on the edge of Sid's bed as I read them a bedtime story.
"Yes, Sidney?" I asked, smiling down at him.
"How come we've only seen Dr. Daddy in pictures? Sabi ni Kuya Dr. Daddy and him used to sing together. Is he ever going to come back?" Sid said.
"Mama Cassie said he's sleeping under the grass." Monty said, their dog, Ringo was on his bed with him. "He's under that thingy where we light a candle and bring flowers to."
"Can't we dig him out of there and wake him up?" Brad asked.
"He's gone, honey. His body may still be there but he's already gone." They were still young and they didn't have a firm grasp of the concept of death.
"Forever?" Sid asked.
I nodded my head quietly.
"He's never going to come back?" Tanong ni Sid.
I shook my head as I brushed my fingers through his hair. "No, I'm afraid not."
"Why did he go?" Lumabi ito. Out of the triplets, he was the softest. Mama would always tell me he was just like me when I was a little girl. His brothers had very strong personalities just like their father and they had Callum's features, too. Their hair as dark as their coal black eyes. Sid was the only one who took after the Cordova with his blonde hair and his hazel eyes.
"He... he had to..." I chewed on my bottom lip, feeling the lump in my throat. "I'm sure wherever Dr. Daddy is now, he's looking after Kuya Arthur and you three. Even though he's gone, I know he loves you as much as he loves Kuya Arthur. Kahit naman wala na si Dr. Daddy, nandito pa rin naman ako. Masaya naman tayo, hindi ba?"
"Mmhmm." Sid nodded his head.
"I'm happy." Monty answered.
"Me, too." Sabi naman ni Brad.
I kissed them on the forehead before tucking them in and turning the lights off. I stayed until the last one of the triplets fell asleep. Before heading to my bedroom, I stopped by Arthur who was already fast asleep in his room. His favorite guitar, the one his father gave to him, was next to his bed.
Umupo ako sa gilid ng kama ni Arthur at hinaplos ang makapal na buhok niya. He looked like an angel in his sleep. No matter how bad I wanted him to stay my baby forever, him growing up was inevitable. I could alread see the changes in him. He was no longer a baby.
Hanggang ngayon ay pinagbabayaran ko pa rin ang mga kasalanan at pagkukulang ko sa kanya noon. Ang pagtanggi ko sa pagiging ina sa kanya. I wanted to make up for all the times that I wasn't by his side while he was growing up. I was grateful that he grew up to be such a good son and brother to his siblings. He was very responsible for his age. Kahit noong ipinagbubuntis ko ang mga kapatid niya, he never left my side. I was darn lucky to raise such beautiful kids.
