Forbidden: Not Alone.

Chapter 44

-DAKOTA'S P.O.V-

    She turned me on in the bath, I just didn't want to get up. Now I think I ruined my chances. Even my chances for a while.
    I sigh. Her silence is loud. She probably doesn't even want me.
    I roll over and hide myself in the pillows. Curling up slightly. For no reason. Because I'm an idiot. I always fucking take it too far.
    I didn't mean the laugh to be bad. I didn't. It was just funny to watch how she struggled. And then how cute and sexy it was to watch her member hold up a towel easily.
    I'm a fucking idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm stupid..
"D?"
"Hm?"
"I'm sorry."
"Not you. I did it. It's fine. It's fine." I pull the blankets over me. And summon her her boxers back.
"Dakota.."
"I didn't.. the.. I.. the laugh.. not.." I sigh. "Never mind."
"I'm sorry I have upset you."
"Nope. Don't be sorry. Not your fault."
    She sighs. "Please look at me."
"You don't want to see me."
"I do too. Look at me."
    I turn over to look at her. Her eyes are of pure sadness. And I can feel it.
"I hate this."
     Her words.. hate. She doesn't use hate. Sh..She...
"When we bicker of stupid little shit. I hate it. Because all I want to do is kiss my wife. Love my wife. Have my wife in all ways that I can. I hate fighting over nothing."
"Yeah.."
"So. I'm not going to. Instead of fighting, I'm going to make love with you."
"Direct."
"It's the truth. Because I would rather love than fight. Will you let me love you?"
"Yeah.. I suppose."
    The kiss is sudden but it fixes me. I fall into it. Her length rubs against my clit..
"Please.." I whimper in the kiss.
"Love is better than fighting."
"Please.."
"I love you. You know?"
"I love you too. More than you know."
    She pushes into me and starts slow thrusts. I melt to the feeling. Moaning just for her.
    Digging my nails into her back just to keep a grip. Her pace speeds and everything builds up faster. And faster..
      She has me come within minutes. And I call her name as I usually do. Her thrusts don't end.
       It's almost instant. Her finding my spot so easily. I come to her constantly.
"I love how much you come."
      I can't say anything other than her name. Love fills me. Love makes me happier than what I was earlier.
     I can feel her come in me. I love the feeling. I love to take her member.
     Time slips. I don't know how long. Into the early hours of morning. Her still keeping me in this bliss. As it ends though, I wonder.
"I.. I want to.. try.. the.. the other.."
"You're trembling enough as it is."
"Just try.."
"D.."
"Just try."
     She hesitates but gives me what I ask for. I just didn't think.. I didn't.. I didn't think. I didn't think..
     Her arms wrap tightly around me. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
"Please.. never.."
    She heals every single pain I have ever had ever. Or so it feels like. Though the pain faded, it's scarred into my memory.
"Why did you make me do that? I shouldn't have done that. I didn't want to hurt you. Why did you make me do that?"
"I'm sorry.." my tears won't stop. "I'm sorry."
"I wanted to make love. Not hurt you. I hurt you. I hurt you. I'm so sorry.."
     Trying to hide my face fails. Her wiping my tears constantly. Her crying too.
"Did.. I hurt you?"
"Not physically. That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You matter. I'm so sorry."
    I want to hide. I want to hide. I want to hide.
    She won't let me. She won't let me hide. Why won't she let me hide?
"Please stop crying. Please? I beg of you."
    I calm myself enough to stop. Her fears are raw. And overpowering.
"I'm not going to leave you."
"I hurt you."
"I asked.."
"I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have. Now I hurt you. Now.."
    I hold her tightly to me. "Just hold me. All I need."
"Dakota.."
    I hide myself in her neck. "Just hold me."
"Of course. I just.. you.. you deserve.."
"Shut. Up."
     She chokes. I can feel her frustration, sadness and fear. It all terrible.
"Just hold me, Charley. I just want to be held. Can we forget about this? Please?"
    I can feel her magic. It's strong but I don't understand.. something clicks and I pass out.

     My mind is foggy. It's weird. It's.. weird.
"D?"
"I'm awake. Just don't want to get up."
"Are you doing okay?"
"Uh. Yes? I'm good. My head is slightly foggy but I think it's cause you made me come too much."
"You scared me for a moment last night."
"Why?"
"You passed out."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
    She sighs after a few minutes. I feel something off but I can't tell what. I hate what time it is because it means that she has to go to work. I don't want her to.
"Can't you stay?"
"Sorry, my love. You know that I cannot."
    I nuzzle close to her. Holding her tightly. I still feel so tired.
"You can rest today away. Zack said he wouldn't mind taking care of the twins until you're ready for them."
"I'm tired, Charley. I'm really tired."
"We had a crazy evening. And you slept for 2 hours."
"Yeah.."
"I'll stay until you fall back asleep. The day will be over with before you know it."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
    For a small time I just rest. And then sleep over takes me. I fall in her arms.

    Feeling someone's hand on my cheek wakes me. Though it's not Charley. It's..
"Mom?"
"Hey babygirl."
"What.."
"Charley asked Zack to check on you and seeing how he is busy with the twins, I am going to."
"Check on me? Why?"
"I will have to ask her. I'm unsure."
    I feel myself slipping out of the world again. Falling asleep again. So tired.

    Her arms around me wake me. I nuzzle into her neck without hesitation. She sighs to it.
"You're home.."
"Mhm. I took care of the kids. They're down for the night hopefully it's not a pee night. I did take him to the potty before setting him up in bed."
"What time is it?"
"9."
"Woah."
"You slept all day."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"Hm.. how was your day without me?"
"Horrible. I was worried. I was so worried."
"I don't understand. Why is everyone so worried about me?"
"You slept all day. No one could get ahold of you and stuff."
    I lightly squeeze her. "Your fault."
"Yeah. I know. I'm sorry."
   I kiss her cheek lightly. "I was joking. I don't know why I slept all day. Or how I'm still tired. It's not your fault."
"Last night might have been too much."
    Sadness takes over. Last night was pretty good. Me passing out after is pretty usual too. But..
     I guess this is just too much. If she's going to worry.. if.. then.. she.. won't want me.. I..
"Okay."
"What do you mean by 'okay'?"
"Just okay."
"Are you mad at me?"
"No."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No."
"What's wrong?" She kisses my forehead. "Let me in. Talk to me."
"Nothing to talk about."
"Dakota.."
   I climb off of her and flop down beside her. The pillow letting my face sink in.
"That bad, huh? What did I do?"
    What do I say? She didn't say or do anything wrong. She's right and if she's right on it, then our time at night becomes nothing.
    I love her. Love to give all my energy. That's fine with me. I don't like hearing that it is too much because then it doesn't happen for at least a week. She doesn't love me for a week or longer.
"Please talk to me."
"Nothing to talk about."
"Bullshit. Bull fucking shit."
    Her words are of anger. Which is nice. Great. Great...
"Dakota. Talk to me, damnit."
"Nothing to talk about."
"Why are you so fucking stubborn? Seriously? You won't tell me what is wrong. I can't fix it if I don't know what I did wrong."
      I can't.. I can't. Her during directly at me is rare and out of anger. I feel worthless. I feel worthless.
"Fine. I'm done." Her words.. crush me.. and her getting out of bed makes me feel worse.
    Tears.. soak the pillow. Fuck. Damn me.
"I stole your memory."
"What?"
    She goes into silence and I suddenly see clearer. I understand why she took it. I guess that's why she won't love me.
"I'm going."
"Where?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes. It does."
"Away from you."
"Charley.." I cry out as she leaves.
     My heart.. my heart. My heart just left and shattered.
      I slip my rings off and lay them off her pillow. "Bye."
"Bye?"
"Yeah... Bye.." I shut our connection off.
    It feels like my heart has exploded. And I can't hear of feel my heart beat. The irony is real.
     Grabbing devil before locking myself in the bathroom. Drinking the bottle. Summoning and doing same with that.
    Laying in the tub.. isn't the best. But in drunk and can't feel how horribly uncomfortable it is. Hiding my presence from her whole I hide in the last place, besides the bed, that I felt true love.
    Holding a third bottle.. it all gets to me and I pass out.