Chapter Thirty Seven

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Dear Diary,

I am exhausted, so exhausted I can hardly pick up my pen. It has been three days since the gig and I’m in a new world now where everything has changed. We’re still in New York, just, flying back to England tomorrow. I’ll do my best to keep this pen in my hand as long as I can.

It feels like it could be another lifetime now but just three days ago I was so excited, so full of hope for the gig. To be that close to realising our dreams, it was magic, just a few steps away from the start of all we had wished for. All those times Leo and I had danced around our living room back home, wishing for international stardom, a chance for The Dovetails to blast off.

I woke up that morning not exactly sure what to feel. The day before was complete madness – what with Leo meeting Farley for the first time, the trip to Chinatown, then the Brooklyn pub and those horrible guys. Ugh. It was all too much, but then, all that said, we had the gig that night – so really the main thing that mattered to me was giving it our absolute best shot, to give New York City all we had.

So instead of thinking about how creepy it had been with that group of guys and what might have happened if I hadn’t got out of there, I just got myself to think about what I would do on stage tonight, who I would be.

After a lonely breakfast – Leo wasn’t around – I went back to my room and got my outfit ready for the gig. Finally, this was my chance to wear it; a dress that almost defies description. Made up of gold leaves laid on top of skin-coloured material that clings to my body, from ankles to neck, it’s a hell of a dress. It belonged to Mum. She only wore it a few times for her own gigs, back in the days when gold leaves clinging to your body were all the rage.

I had only tried it on once, in the privacy of my bedroom – it made me feel like James Bond might walk in and sweep me off my feet at any moment. So there it was, laid out on my hotel bed, glimmering and ready to be worn that night in front of thousands.

The dressing rooms in the venue were huge and when we got there a teapot sat on the table next to a bunch of red roses. Tony told us he had arranged it and that the owners of the venue found it amusing that our drink of choice was a pot of tea.

As I looked at the red roses, wondering if they were for our county, I couldn’t help noticing all the chaos going on around me. It felt like the whole venue was a big beast, stirring itself awake after a long sleep. As the beat of the pre-recorded music came from the main stage, people came in and out of the dressing room, people I had never seen before.

I sat there next to the teapot and watched as everything whirred around me. Some of the unknown people came up to me, some hugging me and wishing me well, calling me “Ambs” as though we were old friends. The same happened to Leo but he had his guitar out and kept his head hung over it only raising his face now and again to give slight hellos.

Tony bustled back and forth, in and out of the dressing room, shouting down the corridor, shuffling the people this way and that. He seemed to know exactly who they all were. Jimmy had found a friend, some American guy he could talk to about the state of the world with in the corner.

I remained silent on the chair next to the roses until Cheryl bobbed her head around the door.

‘Well, hello!’ she said.

‘Hey!’ I said. ‘Come in.’

She jumped into the room, followed by Jez and Lambert.

‘You’re the first person I’ve recognized since I got here!’ I said.

They all smiled and reached down to kiss me on the cheek.

‘Leo, get yourself over here, love,’ she said, beckoning him over.

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