From Anonymous, To Dearest (Book 1 of Email Duology)

13

A|N: Entry #13 is mostly an email conversation of Demetria and Rio. Happy Reading!

11PM na pero gising na gising pa rin ako, hindi ko alam kung dahil ba naninibago ako sa paligid ko ngayon o dahil kausap ko si Rio hanggang ngayon?

Anonymous C.
We finally had that long talk I
waited so lang haha. But hey,
sasagutin mo na ba yung mga
tanong ko kanina?

***

Puro random lang ang pinag-uusapan namin, like what's our favourite music genres, books or anything, what's our hobby, mga ganong bagay, at hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin sinasagot yung mga tanong niya kanina tungkol sa mga entry ko.

Umiiwas kasi ako sa tuwing tinatanong niya ang mga yun, hindi ko alam kung dahil ba ayokong pag-usapan o dahil apektado pa rin ako kay Joseph o sa kahit sinong involve sa mga entries na yun?

Hay. Ewan, lately ganito ang nagiging mindset ko sa tuwing nakakausap ko si Rio. Palaging 'hindi ko alam' kaya eto nag-iingat ako sa mga sasabihin ko sa kanya.

Am I not trusting him?

Anonymous C.
Hindi ka nanaman nagrereply,
busy ka ba?

'Busy' gustong-gusto kong isagot sa kanya na busy ako kahit hindi naman o kaya naman may gagawin ako kahit wala naman o kaya wag na lang akong magreply? Hays, sobrang lame na ng mga excuse na yun kasi palaging ganon ang ginagawa ko sa tuwing wala na akong masabi sa kanya.

Bahala na, go with the flow na lang Demetria.

Anonymous C.
Hey.

Dearest D.
Still here Rio.

Anonymous C.
Sasagutin mo na ba ako? I mean,
don't get me wrong.
What I mean is, will you answer
my questions now?

***

Should I really answer his questions? Magta-type na sana ako nang matulala ako sa email na sinend niya. It was my rant.

Anonymous C.
Entry #80

Continuation of Sleeping Beauty

I am Aurora, the princess who have been saved from the dragon and spell by a prince.

That prince was my love, my savior, my protector. He changed my days and nights, my life, he changed my everything.

Since the day I've been saved, the following days became different, it was surreal. The prince never let me out of his sight, never left my side and never failed to make me happy.

I felt blissful, dazzling in the air, I was like floating on cloud nine. Because of him, I freed myself from the dungeon I made, I dragged down the guard I built for myself, for protection because I know I'll be safe without it.

I was so contented and joyful with my life—with my prince but then I guess nothing really lasts a long time.

I woke up not feeling anything, I just couldn't move and breathing seems to be hard but my hands, feet neither my body wasn't tied. My mouth wasn't covered at all but I couldn't speak—I couldn't breath.

But why am I feeling this way?

I thought there's just something wrong with me but then I looked around and then I realized, he's not on my side anymore, he dropped my hand he once held when he saved me, and I found myself lost.

I was so uneasy with what I've realize, I was actually in pain, and the wound he gave me was bleeding.

I found him with someone else's arms and so I decided to lock myself inside the dungeon I made. Shutting people out and taking a far distance from them.

I don't know but this, this is making me feel a little bit good.

I am Aurora, not the typical princess you've read from fairytales, I am not beautiful nor wealthy. I am just that princess, locked inside a tower so high that not even the most charming of princes could save me.

Anonymous C.
Who's this for?

Dearest D.
Hey. I'm...

Anonymous C.
Maiintindihan ko kung ayaw
mong pag-usapan :)

Dearest D.
Uh no, it's fine.

Anonymous C.
Talaga?

Dearest D.
Yes I've been depressed, hindi ko lang
alam kung hanggang ngayon kasi I don't
really took it seriously kahit nahihirapan na akong iovercome mag-isa yung nararamdaman ko kasi honestly no one really knows about it, palagi ko na lang iniisip na dapat kong kayanin kasi hindi ako pwedeng magpatalo sa depression ko dahil kailangan ako ng kapatid at tatay ko.

Anonymous C.
So... you really are a fighter.

Kelan siya nagsimula?

Dearest D.
Noong iniwan kami ni Mama.
4 years to be exact then nawala siya
after a year then na-trigger ulit siya
nung ayun, sinaktan ako ni Joseph.

Anonymous C.
...and you attempted suicide?
don't make excuses about this,
I know you.

Dearest D.
Oh, so you know me now?

Anonymous C.
Apparently, I have your journal.
I even got the balls to email you,
and got a conversation with you everyday,
so yeah. I know you, I actually know
you TOO WELL.

Dearest D.
Sa totoo lang medyo ang creepy mo.

Anonymous C.
Hey! Tama na sa pag iwas sa mga
tanong ko. Nag-attempt ka ba
talagang mag-suicide?

Anonymous C.
Here we go again, hindi ka
nanaman nagrereply.

Dearest D.
Fine, okay. Yes. Oo nag-attempt ako.

Anonymous C.
When? Why?

Dearest D.
Nung nawala na sa'min ang lahat.
Si mama, yung bahay, yung shop.
Nung hirapan kaming maghanap ni
papa ng trabaho.

Ramdam kong hirap na hirap na
talaga si papa noon kaya naisip ko yun.

Naisip ko baka sakaling mabawasan
yung pasanin niya sa buhay kapag
nawala ako.

Anonymous C.
So that explains the aura of
a warrior.

Dearest D.
Hindi naman.

Anonymous C.
Theoretically speaking, even
though you've been brutally broken
and still have that courage to fight
against everything that are holding
you back, you really deserve better,
you deserve a love that is depeer than
the ocean itself.

***

After reading his last email, everything made sense now. I realize that maybe losing my journal was not a bad thing at all specially dahil nasa kamay ni Rio ang journal ko. May mga sense naman yung sinasabi niya, katiwatiwala naman siya at higit sa lahat...

I know for sure that Rio and I met again for a reason.

Why can't I trust him, right?