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.please don't mind the grammar, i didn't edit this..hahaha...i'll return to change any mistake if i have time. 😂


 I just skipped dinner and here I am at the front porch of my house .Sitting by the floor hugging my knees. I buried my head to my knees. My head fucking hurts. I just want rest and sleep.

I had his tag now. As Night had pointed out, I had my reason to see him again. But the thing is............. I'm scared...

"Son...", I heard a gentle voice calls my name.

"Dad", I gave him a small smile as I lift my head up to him.

Dad smiled back, gently patted my shoulder and took the seat beside me. I adjusted my seat and watched him silently. I was waiting for him to say something, but he was silent the entire time. It seems he was just here to enjoy a quiet time too.

I was thankful since I don't really wanna talk right now, especially with Dad. I'm scared I might do things that might make him sad. And just thinking about it frightens me.

"You skipped dinner again, is something bothering you?", Dad asked after a while, his voice filled with concern.

I bit my lips and cast my eyes down. I don't know how to answer him. I feel guilty having him worry about me.

"Nothing..Dad...It's just that I'm a bit tired".

What a pathetic reason!! I scolded myself. But that's the best logical answer I could give him. Cause I'm truly tired physically, mentally, emotionally. I haven't had a good sleep yet. The bed seems too empty and deafening silence whenever i'm home is killing me.  And its affecting me more than I thought.

" know you could tell Dad anything.." I look at my Dad whose still wore that reassuring smile. I stared at him pondering if I could actually do what he says. God, How I wish I could tell Dad what's really bothering me? But...them again

"Son...don't be afraid", I look at him in surprise. How can he read my thoughts?

"You are my son and I love you. Both you and Nong Love are my treasures. And the least I want is to see my son suffer."

I just sat there speechless. Was I that obvious?

"Dad, I don't want to disappoint you", my voice crack at my words. I'm trying hard to held my emotions. After Mom died, Dad and Nong Love were all I have. Never would I hurt them intentionally..that's why I'm scared. I don't want to lose that smile of his.

I heard him chuckled "how could you think like that? You. Are. Never. a disappointment to me Son. You had always been a good child and a good brother to Nong Love. I've always been proud of you".

My tears starts to welled up at my Dad's kind words. If I tell him exactly what I'm feeling right now, will he still be proud of me? Will he still call me his Son?

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