Chapter 19

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the picture attached is when Harry and Louis are shopping
IM GOING TO START UPDATING EVERY OTHER FRIDAY OR SATURDAY YAY! Ok don't forget to follow my Twitter @/articdirection tweet me if you read my story and I'll follow back (: & VOTE AND COMMENT XX
chapter dedicated to swag dope aka Bri because she wanted me to update

Louis lay on my chest rubbing circles over my butterfly and bird tattoos. "What do my tattoos mean?" I asked him. I looked down at the smaller boy. Fond was clear in his blue eyes. He smiled and looked up at me. "Well the tattoo represents us," He said, pointing to one of the birds, "This one is me, and this one is you."

"But why did I get them?" I said.

"You were drunk." He said simply, as if that explained everything. For an hour we talked about nothing but my tattoos and what every single one of them meant. From the A on my shoulder to the Things I Can't, Things I Can. Finally at what I assumed was lunchtime, Louis sat up and put some clothes on, I did the same.

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Louis the same again. I don't fucking care how abusive he was I love him and that's all that matters. People make mistakes.
"So which one?" I asked Louis as I stepped out of the changing room that was inside a store that I apparently used to love. "I like the green one better." He said. I nodded my head in agreement. I grabbed all the outfits that I had bought today and put them on the checkout table. "That will be... $78.42" the cashier said with a small smile. I reached in my pocket to pull out my credit card. "Shit I left my card at home." I said. I was about to put tell her I couldn't buy the clothes, but Louis swiped his credit card instead. "Louis, no" I said, he was too kind. "Babe, it's okay." The cashier gave us a sympathetic look, realizing we had more than a friendship. She put the clothes in a bag and as we were walking out of the store we ran into some girl. "Oh my god Louis?!" She said. "Eleanor!?" he said, hugging the girl. I couldn't help but feel jealous that this beautiful brunette was hugging MY boyfriend. Louis saw the jealousy obviously written all over my face because he gave Eleanor a brief goodbye and said, "I'll call you sometime!"
"No you won't." I mumbled.
The next morning Louis left for work the next morning rather early. It reminded me of weeks ago when I looked inside Louis's journal and read the passage about his abusive father. I couldn't help but feel curious, so once again I took a look inside. I flipped to the page after the first one and began to read the messy writing:
"January 10, 2005
Dear journal, or whatever the bloody hell you are, I just got in trouble for having attitude with mum apparently, my dad slapped me! Right in front of mum! The look of hurt on her face was horrible! I hate him, so much. But the good thing is, I have a crush, a very large crush. I wouldn't say I'm in love necessarily because I don't even know his name, but I think he's beautiful. He makes me forget about all the bad things in my life when I look at his curly hair and darling green eyes. I think I might be gay, obviously I am what am I saying, or writing. This boy has got me doubting my manhood but also my sexuality." Again, I felt a pang of jealously for whoever Louis's old crush was, sure he was only 14 but still. I got up and grabbed a glass of water because all this jealousy made my throat dry. I sat back down on the desk and continued reading from the journal:
"February 1, 2005
His name is Harry, he's so beautiful and the other day he talked to me, he knows I exist! His green eyes looked into my blue ones and he just makes me feel butterflies. I asked him to pick up my pencil for me because I couldn't reach it. He said yeah and picked up the no. 2 pencil. As he was sitting up he fixed his curly locks and looked at me and handed me the pencil. My bud Niall said I was totally in. Hopefully I get to know him better some day."
Maybe he got to know me a little too well, I thought about the other night and blushed like crazy remembering my boner and how he "took care of it".
For the rest of the day I lounged around in my cozy pyjamas and watched What Not to Wear on Netflix. While watching this show I convinced myself tonight I would ask louis about his journal. My plans were unfortunately ruined when my night was completely turned around.
At 5:00 exactly Louis walked into our flat looking abundantly stressed. "Lou what's wrong?" I asked him. He looked me in the eyes before looking away, ignoring my question and concerned glance. "Lou..?" I stepped closer to him as he put his hands on his forehead in frustration. "Louis?"
"What Harry!?"
He said, getting snappy. I stepped back out of shock. "I-I'm sorry." I whimpered. He threw his shoe against the wall and I stepped back even further. He grabbed his hair and fell to the floor in tears. I was shocked by this sudden outburst, Louis never did this. I was unsure of what to do. I stood there staring for minutes but finally decided I should attempt to help. I walked over hesitantly and sat next to the broken down boy.
I wrapped my arms around him and he sobbed into my shoulder. I rubbed circles into his back. "Ssshh, babe it's okay." We stayed like this for minutes until he started to calm down. "Babe what's wrong?" I finally asked. "He looked up with red rimmed eyes and said, "My dad, he found me."

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