I Chose You | Awsten

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I was angsty so I wrote a bad poem


Cling to you like leaves on a branch

The dying nature surrounds us both

My heart, it clenches, screams thus forth

Nobody else to see; I'm blinded

By your pretty words and sweet divines

Take me; choke me; destroy me

Til I'm left a shell of who I used to be

You break me off; I love the pain

I keep returning again and again

I hope I pray that you'll look my way

And maybe this time you'll choose to stay

———

You've gone through this time and time again. You loved her so much. You let her hurt you until you broke. Yet you still kept going back to her. You cried yourself to sleep every night because she didn't love you. You did everything you could to get her attention. She said you had something. But she lied. She played your heart like a violin, and she slammed it against the floor, breaking it into a million pieces. All the power in the world couldn't bring the broken pieces back together again.

Yet, you still kept going back to her. One day, she slammed the door in your face and called you pathetic. You cried in bed until you couldn't cry anymore.

Every single time she threw your heart on the floor, Awsten was there for you. He held you in his arms and comforted you. You cried into his chest, your heart completely broken.

He told you he loved you. He told you he cared about you. He told you you didn't deserve someone who didn't appreciate you.

You knew he was right. But it took you months to finally believe it.

One day, you're lying on your bed, Awsten's arms around you. "Awsten," you say, and he makes a small noise to tell you he's listening. "I'm done."

"Are you really?"

"I'm done," you repeat. You really are. You've been thrown around by her for months. You're completely done. You can't do this anymore. You're depleted and drained. You physically and psychologically can't take any more. You're drained to the point that you're numb. You don't love her anymore. You can't love her anymore.

"Good," he replies simply, but his voice carries such relief that you feel cloud of warmth within your chest.

"I'm sorry," you say softly. "For what I've put you through."

"Don't apologize."

You shift slightly so you can hear his heart. You wrap your arms around him more tightly and let out a breath. He always makes you feel safe. His heartbeat is steady and reliable, just like him.

"You didn't deserve all that. You didn't have to deal with me."

"I chose it. I chose you," he replies. You feel yourself smile slightly at his words.

"I should have chosen you from the beginning."

He knows what you mean. And you're being honest. You're being honest with yourself for the first time in months.

———

I was blinded by your

pretty words and sweet divines

Took me; choked me; destroyed me

Til I was left a shell of who I used to be

You broke me off; I loved the pain

I kept returning again and again

Until finally I could see clear

Who truly, always stayed near

Held my heart with care and love

Heaven sent; prior unheard of

A soft soul with heart of gold

Envelop, hold, protect my soul

Pray love last until we're old

———

One year later...

"Awsten!" you yell, trying to shove him off you. He's lying over you on the bed, pinning you down.

"What?" he yells back, and you laugh, grabbing his arms and trying to push them back.

Awsten never once left your side—not during your heartbreak and not during your healing. He treats you how you deserve to be treated. And finally—finally, you're happy.

"Let go of me," you whine, and he giggles as he rolls off you. He pulls you into his chest, and you put your leg over both of his. Resting your head on your hand and propping yourself up on your elbow, you look at his face.

His eyes meet yours, and he smiles. He puts a hand on your face, making your heart flutter.

"I love you," you say, and he smiles. You lean in, pressing your lips to his.

The first time you kissed him, it was after your second official date. You were in your room together, and the moment felt right. You just leaned in, and your lips met. That was the moment you knew you were falling in love with him.

Even now, after a hundred kisses, your heart flutters every time.

"I love you," he whispers against your lips, and you smile.

You never thought happiness like this was real; you're happy that you were wrong.



A/N

I am fully aware that my poetry is not good so don't touch me okay

I just have a lot of feelings and I've found that abstract things can be better shown in poetry so yeah

I'm trying that

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