Chapter 62

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Kevin high fived me as I excited the recording booth, a big smile on his face as well as Avi's. 

"Great job, man! I think we got everything that we needed which is excellent. You sounded so amazing."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Kev." 

Kevin was such a good producer and manager and always made recording sessions so easy and stress-free with his easy-going spirit and calmness

"Scott, you can go chill and Avi, you're up brother." 

Avi nods and takes a long swig of water before entering the recording booth. 

I watch him through the glass window for a bit before I get bored and just start scrolling through my twitter feed. I giggle and favorite a couple of silly and adorable tweets from my fans. I started a twitter poll asking what the fandom name should be, and let's just say that my fans are very... creative...

"Horny-Kaplans", "Calfs" and "Noodles" were amogst the favorites. One of my favorite fan accounts tweeted "The Scott Hoying fandom voting to call themselves Calfs because Scott is our Giraffe-daddy is the best news I could ever wake up to!"

Avi let out a low-register run and I dropped my phone in shock and awe. "Damn!" I exlcaimed.

Kev burst out into a fit of laughter and Avi squints back at us in confusion. 


We get back home at our 6 PM and I'm honestly so mentally exhausted that I just immediately throw myself onto my bed and shut my eyes. 

Today was a long, eventful, overall pretty good day. So why was I feeling so down?

Sometimes I just felt like I was too blessed. I'm living in a million-dollar dreamhouse in the hills, I'm racking in so much cash in my sleep, I've got a BBMA and VMA award with a possible Grammy award nomination in the books, I am following my dream of making music, I'm considered handsome and desirable, I've got this glamourous life that so many people envy... yet I have no one to share it with. 

I've tried with relationships, I really have. But recently it just never works for me anymore... I can never get the same feeling that I once felt and the one time I found someone who I thought I would end up with forever, it was all taken away. And it's all my fault... Just for this lifestyle. This lonely, stressful lifestyle. 

I have no one to vent to when I have a stressful day, no one to come home to at the end of the day, no one to share my successes and failures with. No one to travel with, no one to hold me when I feel alone. No one to confide in when I can't sleep at night because of the thoughts running through my head. I have to make most decisions on my own, and it's so draining and lonely. 

Of course I had Avi, Kevin, my team and friends like Mario and Trent... But it seems like they're all in relationships of their own and wouldn't be able to understand me. 

I can't even meet anybody that isn't a fan, and I swore to myself that I would never date a fan. Although, my fans are pretty hot. But that's besides the point. I needed a genuine connection, like I had back then... 

I should have never let that connection go.


I wake up from my nap at around 9 when I hear my phone go off. I groan, assuming it's my alarm but sit up in excitement when I actually take a look at my screen.

Incoming Facetime: Esther 

"Esther!" I greet excitedly. "Thank God, I've missed you so much."

She chuckles. "Hey Scotch-tape. How was your day? I'm sorry I didn't call yesterday like we discussed. I was kinda busy getting ready for the whole graduation thing." 

"That's okay! How was graduation? I really wish I could have gone."

Esther nods. "Yeah, but It was pretty boring... not gonna lie." 

"You hang out with your friends afterwards or anything? Go out for dinner?" I ask, laying back down on my bed and holding the camera in a funky bird-eye angle.

"Yeah, we all went out for dinner and Darien was so sweet! He payed for me and everything. He's the best, really."

I roll my eyes. High school relationships are so superficial and people get caught up in "love" just by the smallest kind actions. 

"Don't roll your eyes at me! We're in love."

"Sorry, sorry." I chuckle. 

"I know you think he's just another guy, but we've been going strong for almost 4-years now."

I can't help but feel a little envious. My little sister has got a more serious relationship than me... In fact, she is in a relationship and I'm still not. 

"So what about you? Any boys? Girls maybe?"

"Girls?!" I question quickly.

"I dunno bro, you haven't dated in a while so I'm not sure if you're like figuring yourself out or what." She shrugs. 

"Ew, no girls... I'm just taking some time to myself, y'know?"

"No. Nobody wants to be lonely..." She answers quietly. 

"What are you trying to get at Esther? Just say it please."

"Just... I know you're still not over him. Which is why I've been wanting to talk to you so badly lately. Well, obviously you're my brother and I want to talk to you, but I've got some tea."

"Tea?" I already didn't like where this was going from the indirect mention of my ex.


"About... him?"

"Yup!" She replies shortly.

I don't respond. 

"Well Scott, do you want me to spill or not?" She asks impatiently.

I ponder for all of ten seconds. "You know what, Esther? I really would rather not discuss anything about my ex. Because you know, he is my ex." I add matter-of-factly.

"Maybe, but I know that you're still not over him... plus, this news is sort of important."

I scoff. "You don't know how I feel about him. I don't know, or want to, what he's been up to all of this time, but I've certainly moved on."

Esther laughs a little, which annoys the crap out of me. "Suuuuure you have. Obviously you still aren't over Mitch if you can't even say his name!" Esther says harshly. She must realize that she was bordering on "over the line", so she changes her tone a bit. "You haven't spoken his name in 3-years, Scott. You might be fooling yourself, but you aren't fooling me. I know how much you loved him, and I understand that it's going to take some time to get over him completely, but you've gotta start trying sooner than never."  

I sigh. "You're being ridiculous. Just drop it, okay? I don't want to talk about him."

"Scott, I just want to see you move on and be happy. You know that, right?"

"Esther, DROP IT!" I yell, finally losing it. "My patience with you right now is so slim, you have no idea. Just don't speak to me about him. I understand that y'all are still friends and that's great, it really is, but as long as you tell me he's happy you can leave it at that. I don't need any details about who he is or isn't dating, what ivy-league college he's going to, what he got for christmas, I want to hear NONE of that." 

Esther shakes her head in a way that looks like disappointment. "Fine, but you might regret that if you bump into him next month..." She mumbles.

I pause. 

"What did you just say? Bump into him? What do you mean?" 

Esther smirks. "I mean that Mitch is moving to LA and is set to leave Arlington in a month. But you don't want me to tell you that, because you're over him." 

My heart slams out of my chest and suddenly my mouth loses all of its moisture. 

No. Fucking. Way. 


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