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022. words and thoughts

|| SECRETS ||❝this time, don't need another perfect lie,don't care if criticsnever jump in line,I'm gonna give all mysecrets away

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❝this time, don't need
another perfect lie,
don't care if critics
never jump in line,
I'm gonna give all my
secrets away.❞


I WANTED HIM to answer my question so badly that my grip on his hand became like iron- right after it had hardened from the forge with heat still lingering on the outer edges of it where the fire still lingered. I felt like I had become one giant piece of metal as I stared at only him, like everything had turned into one big chunk of impenetrable steel that kept me both emotionally stable enough to watch and strong enough to be able to take any answer he was going to give me.

I felt like I had become an alloy of so many metals that it had made me the perfect statue that could still be warm by his chest, the blend was so well done that you could hardly pick out which materials I had used the very most through my bones. And yet, when he pulled back and shuffled a few meters back on the sand the metal rusted, and the alloy was pulled apart again.

That was the reminder that I wished I could of missed- that was the second that life became reality again.

"Could tell you that I was sorry." He concocted his words with great precision, even if he sat next to me with more laziness then I had ever seen before. I thought for a second that he would of said something different then that, imagining it was enough for my heart to pick up tenfold in my chest.

I could hear it beating in her ears, and I could fell it in my stomach.

"Now you have." I muttered as I tried my best to keep my face in one solid position for more than a minute. I sighed, although mine was weaker then Finnick's. "And now we're back to having to kill each other."

I didn't expect the boy beside of me to come closer again, but once I expressed just how tragic our situation was he moved over once more to pull me up with him; his hand once again getting trapped in my iron grip. It put a new meaning to the phrase when I felt how cold my hand had become without it- how gently it had made each normal touch feel.

"This time, talk to me." He asked as I let go of his hand to get up on my own- just as my knees finally felt stronger then they had before I almost drowned. "When this ends, we'll go together, and we'll do anything from that point on together too."

He looked so adamant about it that I couldn't even hear the many many warnings that flew through my head, and I couldn't quite pull the ghost of Carmella into focus as she shook her head from inside the water. I didn't really want to, because I had finally found a morsel of peace like I had wanted for so long. I could still see them, but now the many people around me had showed me just how fake they were in the real world.

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