I'm Married To Pain

Chapter 4

He's too good for me. I can't keep up with his kisses but I am responding to his every movement. I pulled his head closer and he pulled my waist.

But it seemed not enough for him. He lifted my leg and wrapped around his hips. Then he lifted me to kiss my neck, down to my collar bone.

He threw me in his bed and slowed down his kisses. Until we were gasping for oxygen.

My dizziness escaped me. "Then I guess I really have to give it a try." He whispered and kissed me in the neck, leaving me helpless in the process.

I recalled the last 45 minutes that passed. "Shoot!" I covered my eyes in embarrassment.

What the hell is wrong with me?!! I've gotten myself into this sick situation. But I missed it. I missed making love with someone, but this isn't making love. Just pure sex. One night stand. And I know, Jcee will definitely kill me, I swear!

***

"You fell for his charm without you knowing." Gina assured me.

I am not a flirt or an easy to get kind of girl. But I don't know what happened to me. I just probably missed my life before. Being kissed, loved and cared for. But of all people, why Jared? Maybe because he kissed me the first night? Or maybe because--

"Because of his confusing attitude?" Gina finished my thoughts.

I went to the resort's mini lighthouse and looked over the blue waters.

I smiled at myself as I think of him.

"Boo!" I jumped off my seat.

I looked at the cause of my shock and saw Jcee laughing his ass.

"You must have seen your face, Ash. It's priceless!" He continued.

I ignored my irritation and sat. "What's with today?" I asked him.

Jcee sat beside me. We use to stay here after classes, at the feet of this tree. We are high school students but luckily for Jcee, he already got a car since forever!

"I have a game, you should come." He said.

I got to the parking lot and the students went crazy. Someone challenged Jcee. They say he's transferee named Nathan. I tried to talk to the guy when I saw him at the back of the gym.

"Are you the guy?" I asked the guy who's not wearing uniform. I guess he is the guy. Transferees don't wear uniforms the first week. He didn't turn to look at me. So I just continued. "You would kill yourself in there. Jcee is not the right guy to challen--"

He turned and offered me a rose. It isn't the rose that shut me. It is him. He is beyond handsome.

"Here. Go away. You might kill yourself here." He said with a smirk before he left me. Weird. Why would you give someone a rose when you're irritated?

Since then, he became more and more weird to me. He smiles at anyone but me. Though he hates me that much, he walks me home when Jcee's not around. Until he again challenged Jcee. And his bet? Me. If he wins, Jcee would let him near me but if not, he'll transfer back to his old school.

That was the first defeat of Jcee in racing. He goes to LA every summer and throughout those times, Nate is with me. I fell for him eventually, no, I know I've fallen from the very first day. It just got deeper and deeper.

He changed since then. He learned how to say sorry, he learned to socialize and most of all learned to love. I have given him most of me. If you ask, that includes myself. Yes. He got my virginity and I'm proud of it. I'm more than proud that I've given it to him because he valued it very much. He valued every single strand of my hair, excuse the exaggeration.

Jcee moved to LA for college and comes back every holiday. I love those two but whenever they fight, I always go to Nate's side, no matter who's right and wrong. But I know, Jcee understands me. He's most likely a brother to me. Everyday is just so happy with Nate. Even during our fights, in the peak of our anger he would kiss me or hug me and tell me he loves me to shut me up, then we'll talk afterwards. I learned how to be very patient in love.

That's why when he left... I was near to being crazy. It haunts me and kills me. Just thinking of it makes me break into million pieces.

"This means, he doesn't love you no more." A voice cut my emotional peace.

I turned and saw Jared leaning in the doorframe.

I missed Nathan. And Jared makes me miss him more.

"No, he loves me. I'm sure of that. It's just that, I'm not waiting for him anymore." He just smiled, insulted, and stood beside me, looking at our friends playing beach volleyball.

"Why am I so much attracted to you?" He confessed out of no where. See what I mean? Like Nathan, he's also weird in the most weirdest-est way.

I looked at him, eyes wide. "You drunk?" I laughed at him.

"I wish I am." Then he turned to leave.

Then I noticed a handkerchief in the railing. He must have left it there.

I took it and saw a rose petal between the folded sheets.

Nathan.

***

After that holiday, I went straight at the place I usually visit whenever I think of Nathan.

I sat in the grass and stared at the sky. "Nate, I want to give myself a chance. I think I met someone who can love me like you did. However, I'm scared. I'm still so scared." I cried at nowhere.