One Last Time

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"It's good to see you awake, son," Dad said when he entered the hospital room with food containers in his hand. "It seemed that Joo Hyuk and Ji Soo are doing a good job guarding you. But where are your brothers?"

"They went outside to buy some drinks," So Joon answered, sitting up on his bed.

"What do you want to eat?" Dad asked after replacing the food containers on the table.

"I will eat everything that Mom cooked," So Joon said, contemplating things while staring at his father.

"Even your appetite is back. That's good," Dad said, opening some of the containers then placed them on the food trolley. "These are still hot. I tried to get here as quickly as I can."

"Thank you, Dad," So Joon said, staring at the food on the trolley.

"Do you want milk or water?"

"Water."

Dad opened the fridge and took a bottled water. He opened it before placing it on the trolley.

"Dad..." So Joon began but hesitated.

"What is it, son? Do you want something else? I'll get it for you," Dad asked, standing between the table and the refrigerator.

So Joon only stared at his father then uttered, "Dad, I'm sorry."

"Why are you suddenly apologizing?" Dad wondered, sitting on the chair beside the bed.

"Because I have a mother like Ji Yeon."

"It's not your fault."

"It must have been hard for you and Mom to adopt a child..." his voice trembled, and tears welled in his eyes. "... a child born from immorality..."

"So Joon, what are you saying?"

"You know what I am saying," So Joon said, clenching his fist. "You and Ji Yeon... you had an affair... and I... I am the child..."

"Don't blame yourself for the mistake that we did," Dad quickly said, as his eyes filled with regret. "What happened was our fault."

"Why did you take me in?" So Joon asked, getting confused at the emotions mixing inside of him.

"Because you are my son."

"But you don't want to take me in..." So Joon said, chest aching as he recalled his painful childhood memories. "I remembered Mother taking me in front of your house... and in your office... I remembered her pleading you to take me in... but you only shoved her away and told her that you will not take any responsibility because I am not your son..."

"I'm sorry, So Joon..." Dad remorsefully said but So Joon could not stop blurting everything out. He had take it off his chest... the pain... the anger...

"Every time you ignored her pleadings, Mother gets so frustrated... that she had to let it out... that she had to hurt me... and lock me up to where she could never see me, the person that reminds her of the sin she committed, the reason her life had been filled with misfortunes," So Joon cried, clenching his fist on the blanket. "She would only let me out once her pain had subsided... and she could endure looking at me again," he closed his eyes as he said, "I could only cope by forgetting... I had been good at forgetting... at telling myself that it was my brothers who had been hurt and not me... that my brother's biological father only run away from home and did not kill himself in front of us... It's because of me... I destroyed their family and I... nearly caused your family to fall apart... I'm sorry, Dad... I know how much you've suffered because of me... I'm really sorry..."

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