I'm pointing the gun directly at him. He's crying and begging for his life. I turn the safety off and my finger lingers over the trigger.
"Dad, please don't." my son cries. "Daddy please. I don't want to die."
I ignore his sobs and squeeze the trigger. The bullet releases and hits him square in the head. I don't stop there though, I keep shooting, painting the walls with his blood.
I wake up in a cold sweat, tears falling down my cheeks and I'm having great difficulty breathing.
"Daddy, are you okay?" It's Lisa.
I put my face in my hands trying to catch my breath. I've never broken down like this in front of her before.
"Daddy, breathe." she says softly, rubbing my back. "Deep breaths."
I breathe deeply and pay attention to her hand running up and down my back. I force myself to relax because I know I'm scaring her right now.
"I'm okay." I tell her, once I've settled down significantly.
"Are you sure, Daddy? You could hardly breathe." she says worried.
I wipe my tears away and nod.
"Yeah, it was just a bad dream." I breathe.
"You were screaming. It sounds like more than just a bad dream." she frowns.
"Lees, I'm fine. I promise." I sigh.
She just nods and gets out of bed.
"Where are you going?" I ask her.
"To get a drink." she mumbles.
She then leaves the room. I fall back on my pillow and place my hand on my chest. My heart is still beating uncannily fast.
"Papa, please come home." I hear her sniff from outside the room. She must have called Vic.
"Daddy had a nightmare and I'm worried about him." she says.
I sigh put my face back in my hands.
"You mean this is normal?...He takes medication?" she sniffs. "Do you even care?...you don't...Do you love him?...What do mean it's complicated? How is it complicated?...Papa do you love him?...Ugh, why can't you just say yes?...You're getting a divorce, aren't you?...Daddy said you're not. He's lying, isn't he?"
I hear her start crying heavily which breaks my heart.
"Why can't you just give me a straight answer?" she sobs. "No, don't come over. If you're not going to stay then I don't want to see you."
And after that I assume she hangs up the phone. I get out of bed and open the door to and find her on the floor with her knees to her chest as she sobs. I lean down and pick her up before carrying her back to bed. She wraps her arms around me as she continues to cry.
"Lees, everything's going to be okay. No matter what happens between your papa and I, you'll still have both of us." I tell her, my voice cracking slightly as I push back tears.
"You don't get it." she sobs. "I took everything for granted and now it's all gone. I took Junior for granted and I could lose him forever. And Papa told me to consider myself lucky because my parents were still happily married and I just brushed it off. Now nothing's ever going to be the same. You're going to get your last name changed and I'm going to have to decide who I live with. And I'm going to pick you and Chrissy's going to pick Papa and we're going to be separated forever."
"Lisa, honey, at no point currently do I want to divorce your father. I married him for a reason. All this is, is a rough patch. We're just stressed about Junior. When he wakes up then everything's going to go back to normal." I assure her.
She sniffs and takes a few breaths, calming herself down.
"But what if Junior doesn't wake up? Or what if he does but he's not the Junior you remember." she whispers.
I frown and hug her tightly.
"I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know if our relationship could survive that. But I'm going to promise you this, I will try for you kids, we both will. You are the best thing that ever happened to the both of us and if it comes down to it, we'll try to work through it for you kids." I tell her and she smiles.
"Thanks Daddy, I feel a lot better." she whispers.
"You're welcome, Sweetheart. And by the way, I'm flattered you would pick me over your Papa." I chuckle.
"Chrissy and I already decided that years ago." she sniffs and I look at her confused.
"What do you mean?" I frown.
"When Chrissy and I were eight, we decided that I would always look after you and she would always look after Papa. It's why she went with Papa when he left." she explains.
"But why? When did you decide that?" I ask bewildered.
"Remember that time you and Papa got the flu really bad so we spent the whole day trying to make you feel better but probably simultaneously made a mess?" she grins.
I think back and can vaguely remember it.
"Yeah, I think I do." I chuckle. "You and Chrissy skipped school and stayed home to look after us."
"Yeah." she giggles.
I smile and her lovingly and lay her down on the bed, pulling the blanket over her and tucking her in.
"You and your sister have always been so caring." I smile fondly.
"Where do you think we learned it from?" she laughs which makes me feel better about myself as a parent.
"Hey, do you remember when you taught Junior to ride his bike? And he kept getting frustrated but you just keep telling him to get back on it and try again." I grin, remembering it so vividly.
"Yeah and when he finally did it he didn't know how to stop so we had to chase him three blocks." she laughs.
"I was so scared he was going to hurt himself. He thought it was hilarious though." I chuckle.
We're left in content silence until she talks.
"I miss him, Daddy. " she whispers sadly.
"I miss him too, baby girl. He'll be okay." I assure her but she doesn't seem to believe me.
"Can you tell me more about him?" she asks me.
"I think you should get some sleep." I tell her but she shakes her head.
"Please." she whines.
"Okay, okay. When you were little and Junior could barely walk, you used to treat him like he was a doll. Literally. You'd put him in your toy stroller and you'd push him around. You'd dress him up in your clothes. It was the most ridiculous thing." I snort.
She giggles and kisses my cheek.
"He'll be okay." she whispers.
"I know, sweetheart." I murmur.
I kiss my daughters forehead and let her fall asleep.
I don't sleep though, partly because I'm dreading another nightmare and partly because I'm thinking about Vic.
I wonder if he's considering a divorce, because as much as I hate to admit, if things continue the way they are, it doesn't seem like a bad idea.
Sorry my updating hasn't been frequent. I'm just in a weird mood lately and it's preventing me from writing. I'm sure I'm get out of this funk sooner or later.
YOU ARE READING
No Ordinary Love - Kellic (Sequel to BLBB and MAFT) - boyxboyFanfiction
- Third and final installment in the Unconditional trilogy - "You lied?" "I had no choice." Parenting is HARD Vic and Kellin discover as they raise three kids and things get even more complicated when their youngest, Kellin Junior, hits high school...