The black rose that grew in the jungle

Let me spread my wingz

This unwavering fear
Stays close to me my dear
At times my mission in life is clear
But Then my demons appear

A captive to my own cognizance
And with that I wish I had more self confidence
It feels like whatever I'm going up against is ominous
I can't even remember when it got like this

At times i find myself begging me to be great
The only fear I have is of hate
Sadly from people who can't even relate
And this is my constant mistake
And it's these habits I need to negate

But how?
I wish I could unearth the solution with a plow

     It feels like time itself is going to run out
    Wish I had the keys to make it stop
   Wish I had the keys to keep it locked
        
   Now how do I open this other door?
Behind it are my wildest dreams, plus more Negative thoughts say why push anymore?
Positive ones says to use the backdoor
    And now I'm dealing with this civil war

Moments like this makes me feel like I'm off my hinges
           And I lose sight of my vision
All I want is to be in a better position
  And maybe even have some riches
   Can't complain if I find my misses
And maybe she'll show me what the real gift is.

Until then.... if that! I'll keep pickin this lock.