Zodiac High

*In Capricorn's room*

*Capricorn looking at stocks to invest in on his computer.*
*Aries and Leo walks in.*
CAPRICORN: *Turns around.* What the hell are you two doing here?
ARIES: You're going to help us get our girls back!
CAPRICORN: No the fuck I'm not!
ARIES: I need Cancer back!
LEO: And I need Libra to want me again!
CAPRICORN: One. *Looks at Leo.* Libra never wanted you. And two. *Focus on Aries.* You fucked up by cheating on her with Gemini.
ARIES: That was in the past.
LEO: And all the girls want me. I mean...look at me. *Spins around.*
ARIES: *Puts hand on Leo's shoulder.* Tone it down a bit.
CAPRICORN: Go ask Pisces, Sagittarius or Aquarius to help you.
ARIES: Sagittarius is fucking some girl from history class.
LEO: Pisces is obsessing over Scorpio.
ARIES: And Aquarius told us to fuck off and that we're fuck ups.
LEO: That kind of hurt my feelings when he told us that.
CAPRICORN: Good.
ARIES: Are you going to help us or not?
CAPRICORN: Give me fifty dollars and my service is all yours.
ARIES: That's a rip off.
CAPRICORN: *Points at the bedroom door.* There's the door.
LEO: This is how you treat your friends?
CAPRICORN: We were never friends. We just hang out with the same people.
LEO: Just keep us heartbroken.
CAPRICORN: Look idiots.
ARIES: I'm not an idiot.
CAPRICORN: Okay. Whatever. Give it some time. The girls will get over it and everyone will be happy.
ARIES: I don't have patience for that.
LEO: Same! I'm tired of using my hand to masturbate.
CAPRICORN: Why couldn't you keep that to yourself?
LEO: Everyone does it!
ARIES: Not Capricorn. He got Virgo.
*Capricorn blushes*
ARIES: And you be fucking her good too!
CAPRICORN: So, back to your love problems.
LEO: You mean back to me.
CAPRICORN: Where's my taser?