Until you know

Why?

Jess's POV

The intoxicating smell of bacon and Bellamy's special recipe scrambled eggs filled the air and in an instant I was in the kitchen, this was my favourite thing to eat when we were growing up and he use to make it for me every Friday night. I didn't know what to expect tonight but this was definitely not what I had in mind, when Bellamy and I were ten I use to tell him that I'd marry him if he made me bacon and scrambled eggs, our parents use to constantly be laughing at us because of it but it meant the world to me. But now sitting here watching Bellamy serve up dinner it didn't give me the same bubbly feeling that I use to get,
"Do you want some juice?"
Bellamy asked but I was so lost in thought I didn't even hear him. He slid the food in front of me and I devoured it like it's the only thing I will ever eat. I think it took Bellamy by surprise because when I looked up he was chuckling, I use to live for the moments when he would laugh or chuckle but now I found it odd to hear, things will probably never be the same.

Bellamy's phone buzzed on the table, he slowly opened his phone case, when I glanced at his phone I instantly regretted it, he got a text from Lora...
I stood up and stormed out of the room in a huff I didn't care what the message said, the only thing that matters is he is still talking to her. I went and locked myself in the bathroom, I didn't think I could handle him talking to me right now, when the door closed tears started cascading down my face and there was nothing I could do to stop it. That was it I knew I didn't want to come here and my mind was made up, I was leaving.

When I finally dried my eyes enough to look like I wasn't crying I went into the bedroom where both mine and Bellamy's clothes sat on the bed. Slightly sticking out of one of his bags is the teddy bear that I made him when we were 12, I can't believe he still has it. What if he wants it to be the way it was? What if he wants it as badly as I do? But than it all came rushing back, the stupid text from her. Instead of leaving I decided to go for a walk, so I grabbed my coat and walked out of the house passing Bellamy, without saying a word and slammed the door.

As more time went by I was becoming numb, the cold wind was piercing my skin and it felt like it was going straight through me. I have no idea how long I have been wondering around through the trees, but I was starting to feel better, as I kept wondering through the forest a light appeared just beyond the trees, I walked forward towards it to see the waterfall.  This waterfall holds so many memories, on the rock just beneath the waterfall was where I told Bellamy I loved him for the first time, I smiled sadly at the memory and as I sat there pondering that thought I heard Bellamy speak from behind me.
"So I gather you are thinking about the time we were sitting on that rock and you told me you loved me."
Of course he knew what I was thinking but as I looked at him I became more and more annoyed.
"Don't come up to me and pretend that everything is how it use to be" I snapped, my voice sounding savage and  sassy, so I stormed off bumping my shoulder against his as I walked back to the cabin.

When I arrived back at the cabin I went straight into the shower not caring that Bellamy was trying to get my attention the whole walk back. I wonder if I'm putting him through more pain, but that thought was instantly removed. What did I care he was the one who choose to leave me.
After the shower my skin felt so much better, but I think the cold wind did some damage to my face and lips. When I walked into the room Bellamy's stuff was still on the bed, it's bad enough I have to spend a few days with him but there is no way I'm going to share a room. In all my rage I grabbed all of his bags and carried them into the lounge room, when I walked in there I found Bellamy curled up on the lounge watching a sad movie, I could hear the smallest sniffles  I'm pretty sure he was crying. I softly placed all of his bags on the floor than went to my room, I collapsed on the bed and grabbed my book and started reading, but right as they were about to kiss Bellamy came storming into the room his face red with anger. When he opened his mouth to speak I winked at him knowing it would piss him off more. I did regret it afterwards I think I really broke him.

"Why do you think you can just chuck my stuff around the cabin whenever you feel like it, why do you think that you can control who I talk to and why the hell do you get mad when I look at you or even try to talk to you. Why do you treat me like I was never anything to you, we both know I was something to you"
When Bellamy finished his rant I yelled at him I didn't want to deal with him, I didn't want to be here.
"Get out, get out, get out!" I bellowed across the room how dare he. I pushed him off the bed with such force that he went straight out of the door, when he was gone I ran to the door slamming it closed, the sound echoing throughout the cabin, there was nothing I could do to stop the tears from falling.