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It's officially been six months since the Cullen's left, it was march 18th and I was getting ready for school. I've been trying to put all my focus into school to forget about the Cullen's and Embry.

Speaking of Embry the pack still hasn't found him, they think he might have gone away from forks completely for awhile.

I had just gotten out of the shower, dried and curled my hair before putting on my glasses and getting dressed.

I had just gotten out of the shower, dried and curled my hair before putting on my glasses and getting dressed

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I walked downstairs and grabbed my cruiser before leaving for school, it didn't take long to get there.

Bella still won't look at me, let alone talk to me but I plan on asking her why at the Cullen's lunch table today.

I've noticed recently that emotions have been holding me back, so I've been doing anything to try to make me feel like they weren't there. I started with stopping on taking my antidepressants, and now it's popping old pain pills to make my whole body feel numb.

This way of coping was anything but healthy but I don't care what happens to me. I don't care if I died in two seconds or pushing 90, I just don't care.

I entered the school building going to the back sitting where Jasper, Rose and I used to sit. Ever since about a month after they left Angela has been sitting back here with me.

She was a nice girl and really smart it's sweet that she wants me to be okay, I just think she needs to know I'm past the point of return.

The day was going really slow till lunch came around. I went and sat at the Cullen's table across from Bella after grabbing a bottle of apple juice.

The girl looked she was destroyed, like she just wanted to feel something unlike me where I wanted to feel nothing.

"Bella?" I asked for her attention looking up at her as she met my gaze.

"Did I do something wrong? After that night you won't even look at me." I questioned, looking down upset that I might have hurt her in some way.

"Did I make you feel like you did something wrong?" Bella asked awkwardly looking down and fiddling with her hands.

"A little, but it's fine." I answered quickly pursing my lips together feeling embarrassed for even bringing it up.

"No, no it's not umm I'm sorry, I'm usually more of the suffer in silence type." She stated, scooting Edwards chair closer to where I was sitting in Jaspers.

"Umm hey do you want to go the Rev with me today?" She asked looking up with a small, hopeful smile.

"The Rev..? I don't know." I questioned remembering what happened last time I was there.

"Jake told me about Sam and everything, I promise we are just gonna stay on the beach." She responded, wait she knew about them?

"Wait, what? You know about them?" I whsiper/asked her, scooting the chair so we were only inches apart.

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