remembering their emotions in their eyes..

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I remember that look in their eye's as i slowly walked to them..their fear that laid inside, hidden beneath and inside their eye's. They can't fool me, i see their fear of me as i walk towards them as they finally hit the wall, trying to get away from me. I was dying, i remembered and realized in that moment. I might not see them for a lot time, i know that. But i want to stay with them. Is that selfish of me? To want to live on and watch over my brothers. Even when i don't really deserve to and when i killed so many others who have families of their own.

I get that, i really do, but i want to stay here. Even if it's just for a little while. I wanted to be there as they grew up to who they are today. I wanted to be there at their birthdays, at their graduation, for their first mission, for their everything. I'm their brother who can't even do anything right, look how they turned out, they hate me, they left their home, their friends, their maybe step family, and everything else behind to kill me. It's one of the things i regret. I regret doing this to them, but i just wanted to protect them...

I guess i did a lousy job at that...I'm so useless..I'm worthless..i couldn't do anything right...i failed to protect them, to be there for them, at everything. Even though i knew this would happen, i still did it and now i will never be able to see any moment of them when they were younger or when they grow older. I'm dying..and there's nothing i can do about it..i want to drop to my knees and tell them how sorry i was for all the pain i caused them. Even if they didn't forgive me, i would forever love them.

But i have an act to keep up, even though i want to tell them the truth and all, i can't and won't. For their sake, i will keep up the act until death. For them...I'll do anything. Even if it means coming back to life to keep them safe, even when they don't know the truth and will be confused. For them, my precious brothers, i will do anything and that is why i stand here today, walking slowly towards them. I will keep the act up, even though i see their fear, their hatred, their anger, their everything towards me.

The look in their eye's...i..will forever remember that look..their fear...hidden in their eye's as they stare at me, as they almost already give up on trying to escape me. I continue walking towards them, i see itachi trying to get in between me and sasuke. To protect him, what a good older brother you are itachi..even better them me...i finally got close enough and poked them both in the forheads like we use to do. I said some things, i got that off my chest but i have a lot of regret. I know a simple sorry will never cut it.

I can not change that, but I wish that they will live on full lives and gain a family that they deserve...better then me anyway...even though i wish to have seen them grow and all that stuff..i can never do that...i guess I'm pretty selfish, aren't i? I don't want to see their fear of me in their eye's..i hope the next time we meet, you won't be afraid of me anymore..huh..i really am selfish..wanting them to not me afraid of me anymore and all that stuff..i really don't deserve to have them as brothers...I'm going to miss them...I'm so sorry for all the pain, the suffering, the hatred, the fear i caused you...I'm a selfish brother, aren't i? I guess this is the last good bye i can give you both...i don't want to see your fear in your eyes..I'm sorry...

Though i do want to ask you both something...am i selfish?


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Finished! Finally...though I'm only updating it because someone asked me...to the person who asked me, was this chapter ok? Well until next time..

Ja ne~!

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