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Me: I miss you to babe :3

Friend: Don't think I'm weird, but I'm gonna sleep with that shit you left in the bathroom

Me: WHAT?!!?

Friend: It smells like you and it makes me feel better when you're gone :3

Me: If you're trying to be cute or funny it's not working.


Friend: ***SHIRT***

Friend: If you excuse me I'm going to go kill myself.

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