Pondering Thoughts

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Grabbing a blanket from one of the chest of draws in the dining room, you wrap it around your body, to cover the marks on your neck, and stroll into the living room, hearing someone rummaging around in the kitchen, you assume it's Jin, looking for food.

You find V sitting on his own, watching TV. He seems to be watching Men on a mission, a popular Korean TV show. Tae directs his attention, as he heard tapping feet coming from you.

"Can't sleep?" He asks.

"Nah." You reply.

You sit down next to him.

Is this all this relationship consists of?

"Want me to turn the subtitles on?" He asks.

You shake your head.

It's like he cares about me sometimes, then at others he totally disregards how I feel, and just thinks about his own dirty desires.

It almost makes me angry. And upset. Scared even, constantly wondering what he'll do next. If he'll be nice to me, or just wants to use me as his toy.

You notice Blackpink were the special guest on the programme. You hear Tae laughing at the MC's.

"We've been on here, the episode's been recorded, but it hasn't been aired yet." Taehyung mentions. "It was quite fun."

"Yeh. I've seen this show before." You force a smile.

He's not letting me do what I want to do, at times, I understand that. But at others, I don't.

Do I really want this?

I really want to be with Jungkook, but I also want to understand why Mom and Dad wanted me to be with him too. I can't just be for family relations.

"[Y/N], are you ok?" Taehyung asks.

I'm only 16, and so much has already happened. I'm no longer a virgin, I'm arranged in a marriage, I finish school this year.

I didn't even say goodbye to Mom and Dad before I left the country.

Your eyes begin to prick with salty tears.

"Hm?" You murmur, your voice a little shaky. "No, I-I'm fine. Just tired."

"Why are you crying?" He asks. "Is something wrong?"

You quietly sniffle.

"I'm fine." You repeat.

Suddenly, the small section of blanket around your neck slides down, revealing the marks on your neck.

Taehyung gasps.

"What are those?" He asks, pausing the TV. The room dips into silence.

"Nothing. It's nothing." You discretely wipe your eyes.

Taehyung leans over, and gently brushed his fingers against the lumps on your neck.

You flinch and cover it back up.

I don't understand, does Jungkook actually love me? He wanted me when we were at home, in Spain and France, but what's changed since we've arrived to Korea?

"I'm fine." You snap, your voice being even more shaken then before.

You swiftly stand, and adjust the blanket.

"I'm going back to bed."

With your head down, you speedily walk away.

"[Y/N]?" Taehyung says, "[Y/N]?!"

Why does Jungkook have to act like this? Why can't he just solemnly love me, and us. I thought I loved him. I thought I could trust him. Why did Dad trust him?

You suddenly stumble into someone, coming out of the kitchen.

"Did Jungkook do that to you?" Taehyung asks.

Slowly glancing up, you realise who it is.

"Jungkook did what to you?" A voice asks, a voice you clearly, instantly recognise.

Chanyeol.

Hey guys. I got bored so I thought I'd post another update. It's a little shorter but I haven't had time to write loads. We're on the 50th part yay! xx

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