Sweet & Sour | ManXMan

●Vacillate

~Kaylen~

vacillate /●v. waver between different opinions or actions.

I was running away from it, from him, because my beliefs said so.

No feelings involved, I had told him. Then why was I going through such a complex maze of emotions? Like, I start on a school of thought and go so deep into it, only to realise that I had taken the wrong way.

I couldn't judge, couldn't weigh whose side was heavier-- my stubbornness or my vacillating heart?

~Emerald~

I couldn't believe I let it slip out of my mouth.

I thought it would only be limited to my fantasies or the times when I'm alone in my room and imagining him with me. But it slipped when he was there, so close, in real.

I had called him 'baby'. He had just let it go with a glare this time, but I knew I could never afford to make that mistake again.

I never imagined that he would be able to shatter the little shield of self control I had surrounding me. Yet it was so easy for him to do that-- just have me in his arms, kiss my face and I'm his for hours to come.

Why was I so weak?

It was that one thing he had asked of me and I couldn't give it to him--having no feelings. Maybe because I was busy succumbing to my own selfish wishes of calling him those names, kissing him, moaning for him, giving my all to him. I wanted to be in his arms after we had accomplished in hitting the edge. I didn't want him to just fuck me...I wanted him to make love to me.

No, none of us were in love. And he, definitely not. But atleast we could pretend that we were lovers? If not for anything but for the emptiness that remains in our hearts after we separate each time? Maybe, like a promise that we'll be in each other's arms again?

Or did he feel nothing at all? Was he not human enough? Or was I too sensitive for people like those? Did I even belong with him?

No, I did not. There were so many gaps between us to cross-- of age, of ethics, of hearts. And possibly none of us had the strength to bridge those.

"You've been glowing these days, Mr. Blake."

Why is she here again? Keeping my thoughts to the 'later' shelf of my brain, I looked up, pushing my glasses up my nose. She stood there with her arms crossed under her full bosom as she passed me a cunning grin.

"I'm busy, Ms. Christie," I murmured, turning back to the files I was checking on my desk while she stood there chuckling, reminding me of the times we both used to cuddle together and laugh at random things, and I couldn't bring myself to concentrate on my work anymore.

"Have you found someone, Emerald?" She questioned like a tease and I chose not to answer, still acting like I was busy doing my job.

"I think I have an idea," She said further, making me freeze. I looked up at her again, paling at the sight of her knowing smirk.

"What?" I asked like the dumb person she makes me.

"Oh, I think you know," she winked before coming closer and stooping down to my ear-level. "You and I both know you like it up the ass," she whispered before pulling away with her sly grin and walking out.

Fuck, I cursed to myself, feeling my chest rise up and down heavily as breathing started to seem too difficult a task. How did she know?

~

"Mr. Blake!" I heard the familiar voice and on cue, I skedaddled out of there. I couldn't face him in campus anymore.

I couldn't even meet his eye without fearing that she must be watching from somewhere like the hawk she is. How did she find out about it? Were we not good at keeping it secretive? Or was the sole purpose of her life to make mine miserable?

I was so in trouble if she told anybody. I was literally shaking with anxiety, thinking about what all could happen if she reached the higher authorities with this piece of information. I could lose my reputation, I could lose my job. I had a kid to raise!

I had to stay out of this all, make sure she doesn't get to see us together again and make sure she doesn't already have any kind of proof. I was stupid enough to indulge myself with a student and do nasty things on campus. I would have to make sure that it didn't happen again.

So, right now, I was on a personal mission to avoid Kaylen like the plague. I had texted him asking not to follow me around but I only wish that guy ever listened to me.

I was so tired and frustrated at this point that all I wanted was to bang my fist into something. Or somebody. Or Andrea, preferably.

I whelped in surprise when I felt a pair of arms wrapping around me from behind. I was in the middle of the hallway and there was no one around and I knew exactly who it was.

"Kaylen," I said through gritted teeth, forcing his arms off of me and turning around to face him.

He was looking as irritated as I probably was and he searched for something in my eyes for a moment before going back to his normal carefree--or rather, careless--nature.

"I texted you to stop following me!" I tried to scold. But he was that one student I just couldn't have that kind of effect on. It was the other way round.

"My phone's dead," He replied, shrugging and I narrowed my eyes at him. He had read the message.

"What's wrong though?" He asked.

I looked around to see if anyone was looking and found no one, so I stepped a bit closer to him.

"Professor Christie knows about..." I trailed, giving him a look. I didn't want to say 'us' or give any kind of name to the thing we had going on between us. He understood because he nodded his head before his eyes widened in realisation.

"What? How? Wait...Isn't she your ex?" He asked in confusion.

Great! Even the students knew about me and that witch.

"She is. And she basically threatened me. She knows about it. And we cannot see each other again." I told him.

His eyes seemed to have gotten dull and I instantly felt guilty. Had I been too rude in saying that? Or was he sad over the fact that we won't be doing this thing of ours anymore?

"Wait," His eyes were full of life again and he suddenly looked even cuter than earlier.
"That means we can't see each other in the campus only, right? We can still...You know," He hinted, blushing a little.

Of course we could see each other outside, at home specifically. That hadn't crossed my mind when I was being frantic about the whole situation.

I smiled. I wanted him. I still wanted him.

"Yeah," I whispered just when I realised that I was already late for a lecture.

"I'll see you later," I said and quickly turned to leave. But of course, that guy never failed to surprise me with his vacillating courses of action.

He caught my arm and turned me around and before I could blink, his lips were on my mine, pressing ever so softly. He didn't give me enough time to rejoice in the feeling and before I knew it, the simple kiss (which wasn't really that simple to me) came to an end and he was gone.

A/N: Do you see some drama brewing like I do?

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