Ascending Paradise (Book 1)***Published now on Amazon!!***

27

"Dear my sweet baby girl,

I know you must be mad and confused as to why I left suddenly but there is much I need to explain to you. I haven't loved your mother for a while. Sadly I know you might not have known that. I have put on a brave face for your childhood. I have sat with her, held her hand, kissed her, but all of that means nothing to me.

I loved her once; I want you to know that. But I can no longer fake that, not when I have loved someone else for a long time.

The real love of my life's name is Debra, or Debbie. We have been seeing each other for over 7 years now and I can honestly say that I love her more than my own life.

I love you, and you should know that. But I can't leave her. She got a promotion and we are moving to China.  As you know your old man can work anywhere since I'm a writer. I am writing to tell you that I won't see you for a while.

Debbie and I want to start our own family. Maybe one day when you are all grown up you will find me again, and we can introduce you to your other brothers and sisters.

I will miss you so much baby but I want you to know I had to choose. Debra said that it was her and moving to China, or not her at all. She gave me a hard ultimatum and I chose the one that made me happy.

Not that you don't make me happy, it's the life style you and your mom have, dancing. I hate that 'sport' and I hope you get out of it and become more realistic in your choices. I hope it becomes more of a hobby, and not some life goal to make it as a professional dancer. I mean is there even real money in that profession?

I know you might not understand but I hope when you read this over and over again as you get older you understand that sometimes you have to put your happiness above others.

I hope to see you in the papers one day, maybe you are the brilliant mind that creates a cure to cancer. I would be so proud and come and find you.

-Dad"

I had started crying half way through, which was an accomplishment for me. I had always started crying at the first sentence, and then it went to the ending of the first paragraph.

I folded it back up, put it in the envelope it had been in before and ran my fingers along the once licked shut triangle before stuffing it back into the rest of the envelope to close it and then I stuffed it back under my mattress and chanced a look up at Dominic.

His hands were fisted at his sides and I wondered if it was me or the letter that pissed him off.

"I have to get out of here." I told him knowing I had to go to my place. I had a place where, when I feel shitty, like right now, I go.

It is in the woods, not too far from the lumber yard actually. I just had to get out of here. I moved past Dominic who hadn't moved and hadn't said anything.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a pen from where the grocery list usually was and wrote on one of the note pad things for Megan when she got back.

Gone to my spot, be back later.

I ripped it off knowing I probably wouldn't come back until it was dark. I moved back into my room putting my sweats and a jacket into a bag and then when I was about to walk out I felt Dominic's hand resting on my lower back.

"Where are you going?" He whispered carefully.

"To my spot." I answered and he seemed to look at me like he expected me to tell him more.

"Where is that?" He asked and I just bit my lip.

"It's by the lumber yard." I didn't know how else to explain it.

"In the woods?" He asked his eyebrows tightening.

"Yeah, but it's not like I venture off and get lost. There is a clearing after a little bit of walking." I said and felt his hands move off of my back and I started to move when he got in front of me.

"Are you going to be okay out there?" He asked seriously and I just laughed slightly.

"I have been out there more times than I can count." I said honestly but he didn't seem pleased by my answer.

"Who knows where it is at?" He asked and I bit my lip again.

"No one." I said looking up into his eyes this time. The steel blue wasn't there; right now it was like when those actresses in the books and movies descried the blue eyes like the sea after a storm. Not only were they a different sort of blue but I saw compassion in his eyes.

"You won't get hurt right?" He was asking me if I was going to get hurt, by myself, in a clearing, where no one is. No one knows about it.

"No, I won't get hurt." I said honestly. The only way I would get hurt is if I fall off the log again, which was an accident in the first place. I don't even know how that happened.

"I'm going with you." He stated moving to get in front of me.

"Why would I let you come to MY spot with me when I am going to go there to vent and just be alone?" I hadn't meant it to sound cruel or rude but that was how it came out.

"Because I am going to make sure you don't do anything stupid." He didn't seem fazed in the least bit as he walked over and opened the front door waiting for me to walk out.

"I have been there worse than I am now and I have never even thought of doing something stupid." I said knowing he meant something along the lines of hurting myself or suicide.

"I am still going to make sure no one really does know about your secret spot. Think of me as protection, maybe even a body guard." He said as I walked out still not processing that he was coming with me.

"What is the real reason you want to come with me? I mean you don't care that much about me to protect me and go out of your way, and spend the rest of the day with me." I said and he seemed to want to argue but I just turned, locked the door, put the note up and went right to my mini cooper.

Just as I was about to close my door Dominic stopped it and unlocked the other side and ran around and opened the passenger door.

He got in, putting the seat all the way back and closing the door. He was coming with me... to MY spot.

I wanted to shout at him, to tell him to get out but for some reason I couldn't get the words out. I simply just looked over at him to see a comforting smile on his lips as he nodded at me.

Looks like he would be the only person to ever know my spot.