Aries: "He rejected you? I'll teach that little mother fuck a lesson!"
*takes out belt*
Taurus: "I don't care how many boxes of donuts you buy me, you're still not going to that party because I said so!!
...Okay maybe if you bought me some donuts and and some cake then I'd consider it."
Gemini: "Sooooo how's that friend of yours? You know.. the girl ;) ...I'm not teasing you!"
Cancer: "Did you take your jacket? Are you sure you don't want some snacks? Remember to put on your seatbelt and don't drive drunk! And no fornicating!"
Leo: "No no no no honey, the blue shirt, the blue shirt! And straighten up! Awww you look so handsome!"
*pinches child's cheeks*
Virgo: "How's school going? How are your grades? Are you struggling in math? Let me help you."
Libra: "Remember your manners and be nice to everyone!... What do you mean I'm embarrassing? I'm a cool mom!"
Scorpio: "Okay listen here you little piece of shit, I'll give you to the count of three... okay seriously stop being so cute I'm trying to punish you!"
Sagittarius: "Okay you literally look like a homeless person lol, I'm not letting you leave like that. Please change, my retinas are burning."
Capricorn: "I know I can be hard on you with your grades and all but know that I still love you!... OH MY GOD IS THAT AN F I SEE??!!"
Aquarius: "Lmao you wanna go summon a demon? Sure, do whatever you want, I love you."
Pisces: *hugs you and kisses you and pinches your cheeks and smothers you*