Careless World

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When I woke up, my head was on someone’s chest. Their heartbeat resonated in my ears, like a lullaby. I could feel the crust in the corners of my eyes. I reached my hand up to scratch it out, but my human bed woke up.

He sat up, forcing me to sit up too. It took a moment for everything to settle into sight. I was in a quiet hallway with a red patterned carpet and white walls. There was an elevator lower down the hallway, and room doors across from each other. I looked at the boy next to me. He had yellowish skin, lazy eyes, lots of tattoos….

That was Tyga?

“What are you doing here?” I tried to yell. My voice only sounded like a frail whisper. I cleared my throat and prepared to ask again, but he started speaking.

“Last night. The concert. Where’s everybody man?” He asked. Then finally, I remembered. We came here last night, and we fell asleep. And now, we were awake.

I suddenly realized how close we were sitting to each other. My leg was practically on top of his, and our shoulders were touching, too. I didn’t move over. I couldn’t move at all. He took out his phone; I saw that it was 3:00 AM.

“What time did we get here last night?” Tyga asked. His voice sounded a little raspy. I shrugged my shoulders; I had very little memory of last night, or the whole day as a matter of fact. All I remembered was that Tyga didn’t do the concert, and Camilla left.

But I was here, living her dream.

He stood and helped me up to my feet, and he pulled out the room key and opened the door.

This wasn’t the room I had been in with Honey. There was one king-sized bed, and it had light sheets. The room had a flat screen TV, two closets, a bathroom, and a bench. The light was off, but we didn’t turn it on. Michael changed into some basketball shorts (no shirt), and since my suitcase wasn’t in this room, I had to wear one of his t-shirts. It fit big, so I didn’t need a pair of his shorts.  

So, we got back into the bed, him lying on his back and my head on his chest. And we stayed there, his heartbeat being my lullaby, and drifted off to sleep.

I know what you’re thinking—but nothing happened, I promise you. We just fell asleep, peacefully. There was the occasional cuddling in the middle of the night, us warming each other up. But besides that, nothing happened.

But I was more than satisfied with what I got, because based on the way things were going, I had subconsciously expected that Tyga only invited me to Cleveland to use me as a one-night stand, and then get rid of me.

In the morning, we didn’t tell anyone where we’d slept. We just cleaned up the room, and went to meet the others in their rooms. We didn’t want to go our separate ways, but we knew people would get suspicious, or even worried - and Michael appeared to be the type that cared a lot about what people thought of him.

So we didn’t talk for the rest of the morning.

We went roaming around the city, taking pictures and signing autographs. Someone even asked me for an autograph, just because I’d been hanging out with celebrities. I got about a million calls from my mother, but I didn’t take any of them. I decided I would only call her when she left a message. Besides that, I’d just keep pressing ignore.

T and I (my nickname for him was ‘T’ now, which I preferred over Michael) kept exchanging glances, and every time we did I blushed. He was just so…different. He really wasn’t how he seemed in some of his songs. He wasn’t all about sleeping with women and getting money. Or at least, he didn’t seem that way for now. If he was that way, he would have tried to get in my pants last night. He had something deep inside of him, something special and romantic. And I was lucky enough to tap into that.

I felt sorry for Camilla for a moment. She would’ve loved to be here with us.

Oh well, I then thought, she chose to go back. I’m still here, and I’m more than okay.

“Yo, T, where you was at last night, man? The concert was poppin’ without you.” Tony said when we went to a fast food joint.

“Man, whatever. I’m sure nobody tried jumping on stage for y’all.” T responded, sipping his milkshake (who knew that Tyga liked milkshakes?). I noticed how he wouldn’t say where he was. It made me smile; it was like we had a precious little secret.

“They did for Chris.” Honey said, matter-of-factly.

“But not for y’all.” T repeated. They told us about the concert and how fun it was. The tour was coming to an end, and that was the second-to-last concert last night. The very last concert was tomorrow night, in New York. I definitely wanted to go to New York, but I wasn’t sure. My carelessness was starting to ware out.

That’s what it was, wasn’t it? I was being careless. Being around T made me very careless. But I didn’t mind. I liked living in the careless world. 

When we left the fast food place, T made arrangements for us to meet the rest of the crew back at the hotel when they were done doing whatever they were doing, and when we were done doing whatever we were doing.

T walked ahead of me on the street, making it hard to tell if we were together or not. We walked and walked, for about five minutes, until finally we reached a river. It was in the back of a dark alley, with a bench in front of the river. T sat down on the bench, his right arm outstretched. I sat down on his right side, and he fixed his arm around my shoulder. We were like that for the next minute or so, and then he spoke.

“Sorry about last night. I was just really tired and….and I didn’t mean to get all up on you like that.” He said finally. I hadn’t expected this. I expected him to address what had happened, but not an apology.

“Um…why are you sorry?” I asked. His eyebrows rose.

“What you mean? I don’t even know you like that.”

“Yeah, but that never seems to matter. Don’t you say that in your music? You always forget your girls’ names.”

“But this is different. Nothing like that happened, so it’s different.”

“How is it different?” I asked.

“Like I said, nothing happened, so there was more of a connection. And I guess you’re only supposed to have connections like that with people you really know.” He explained. “If you don’t accept my apology, that’s fine.”

“It’s not that I don’t accept your apology,” I said, “I just don’t understand why you’re apologizing.” T sighed and sat up on the bench, leaning forward to talk to me.

“So, you’re saying you don’t need an apology?” He said. His voice was different now—more manipulative, more soft and secretive. I got cold everywhere. I just nodded, the same way I did when we first met.

“Well, I think I should thank you for something. I know you left your mother, and your friend. Just to be here with me. Thanks for that, really.” He whispered this into my ear. And suddenly, before I could get a grasp on what was going on, he leaned a little closer and kissed the bottom of my ear. It was so light and so sudden. My body was tingling out of control.

T gently pulled my chin, just with one finger, making me face him. I stayed frozen while he came in even closer, and then we were kissing. His lips pushed against mine, and I stayed reluctant for a while. His lips were warm and plush, like how I’d imagine a cloud in the sky would feel if it weren’t filled with water. It was the best kiss I’d ever had, and I didn’t want it to stop. So we kissed for a long, long time, or at least that's what I imagined it to be.

When he pulled away, he whispered to mer: “Be my girl.” I smiled, and whispered back.

“I already am your girl, aren’t I?”

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