my babygirl → jack gilinsky

chapter forty ♡

jack gilinsky ♡

i was leaving her apartment, her and sammys apartment, that makes me sick.

i've been in love with her for years, and i know we have something, something that's real, and i know what i had with madison, sure it was something, but not the something i have with lily, it will never compare.

when i kiss madison, i feel sparks, but when i kiss lily, i feel fireworks going off. i love her, i can't love anyone else but her and i really wish she'd see that.

i also really wish she'd see how crappy sammy treats her, i mean his whole life, anytime he'd have a girlfriend, me and lily would feel bad for the girl because he doesn't know how to treat a girl right, and now she's that girl.

he's not capable, i mean he's literally cheating on her and it makes me want to beat everything out of him, i just wish she'd she what i see but of course she doesn't.

and of course, she doesn't even want to see me, she hates me, i don't blame her, it's my fault, i mean i left for two years, i didn't even have to do this, but i did it and i ruined everything for us.

we both know that, right now, i'm walking into the apartment me and johnson share.

"hey, where'd ya go?" johnson asked.

"store" i shrugged him off

"bro, you need to get over her" he started.

but that was enough to make me mad.

"stop telling me what to do" i yelled and went to my bedroom.

i slammed the door, locking it behind me.

i sat there, and just went through me and lily's pictures, i sound like a teenage girl who just got dumped. but god, i'm in love with her and she was my bestfriend for so long and i hate to see her get hurt and i just don't want her to be hurt.

she goes to a dark place and last time, apparently she almost killed her self and i just don't want that to happen. i hate leaving her.

i could be with her right now but instead she's with sammy.

when that video uploaded of her and sammy baking cookies homemade, and they looked like a real couple.

i couldn't help but be jealous so i called sammy, i was so upset and mad, and he told me he was gonna get with her just to annoy me and i feel like that's the only reason he's with her now.

but god, i really hope not because she's happy and i don't want him ruining that.

my phone started ringing, i looked at the screen seeing zoeys name pop up.

we still talk sometimes, mostly about lily though.

i picked up. "hey" i said.

"so, did you tell her?" she asked me.

"no, she hates me, and she wouldn't believe me anyways." i said.

"jack, she would only believe it from you, her being with sammy such a terrible idea and is gonna ruin her when he tells her five years from now with their two kids" she said.

she's right but i can't tell her that i found sammy kissing another girl in his car.

she may not even believe me and she would be crushed either way.

"i can't zoey" i said.

"please, don't hurt her by not telling her."

"i'll try when she's not mad at me" i said.

"soon" she said.

"okay soon" i said and ended the call.

i pulled up lily's name on my phone.

jack: can i talk to you?
lillian: over text yes
jack: i'm sorry.
jack: can't we just go back to being bestfriends?
lillian: just friends?
jack: just friends. nothing more, i respect that you're with sammy and i'm okay with it
lillian: you don't have to be okay with it but you do have to respect it so thank you
jack: you don't hate me then?
lillian: could neverrr, gotta go but talk to you later
jack: goodnight

i turned my phone off then realizing it's only six so i pulled my phone out again.

jack: not goodnight, talk to you later

then turned it off for good.

i walked into the kitchen.

"you good?" johnson asked.

"i'm good" i said. "sorry for yelling" i apologized.

"you're good" he said, "takeout?" he then asked.

"sounds good" i said and sat on the couch.