Firstly

28 7 20

Upon request and my own desire to do so, I have answered the challenge set before me. Now, prepare to be annihilated, quiz.... wait, what?

(Incoherent mumbling from producers off screen)

It wasn't a challenge you say?...well can I keep the sword anyway?

(More alarmed mumbling proceeds with frantic hand gestures off screen)

Well, that doesn't make any sense...

(More affirmative and stern mumbling follows from off screen)

Ahem...on further review, it has been brought to my attention that this was just a simple Q&A...so err...on with that...

Lame...


Have you Ever...

1. Kissed someone? Yes ... why?

2. Been Drunk? Oh yes, more times than I can remember and what I could remember wasn't very fun or productive.

3. Cried yourself to sleep? A few times, I can't remember doing this in the past decade though.

4. Self-Harmed? You mean was I ever a teenager? Of course! Now sometimes it was intentional and sometimes it wasn't. I think it was my way of testing the limits of my body and pain threshold. The important thing isn't that it happened but that I survived with minimal scarring and really isn't that what we all want at the end of the day?

5. Felt Lonely? Actually...No. I can remember times when I realized I was alone, but never lamented that fact because I like me and I'm always around myself.

6. Been Depressed? Hmm yes, I like many others have had my emotional lows, but I don't let them define me nor do I dwell on them.

7. Smoked? Yes, from 19 until recently I smoked cigarettes heavily, at one particular point I could clear two packs of American spirits a day.

What's Your...

8. Age? 29

9. Birthday? November 9th

10. Status? What is this some attempt at an online dating profile? Oh, fine I'll play along... I'm currently in the milky way galaxy, on a planet called earth, on the continent of North America, in the country of the United States of America, in the State of Illinois, within a dwelling, alive, breathing and thinking.

11. Biggest Fear? The unknown.

12. Dream Job? If I knew I would have pursued it ...

13. Dream Car? Hm does it have to be a car? I assume so or you would have said Vehicle... As far as cars go I don't care for any of them much, but I suppose older models of the ford mustang stand out most. Now if you had said vehicle I'd have said an older ford pickup.

14. Dream House? Doesn't matter as long as it is small and out of the way.

Do you...

15. Like someone? Ah, I see... this was just a convoluted way for you to see if someone likes you... what are we in grade school? How long did this method take you to cook up?

16. Love someone? Just ask them if they like you, Christ...

17. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? You couldn't be more transparent...

18. Want a boyfriend/girlfriend? ...in what you're getting at.

19. Have a tattoo? I have four, actually.

20. Have a piercing? I have both ears and I'd get more if the opportunity ever arises.

21. Party? I used to, but the thing about parties is you need to enjoy people, dancing, alcohol and loud music... and I only like one of these.

Favorite...

22. Artist? In what medium? Paint? Sculpture? Music? Poet? ... oh, I see, we can have four to five questions about relationship bullshit but this one was just slapped in to make it appear as if you actually cared about something else. As far as painting goes, I like Bob Ross and Michelangelo. Sculptures, I like Michelangelo. Musical composers would be Beethoven and Danny Elfman, and my favorite poet would be Robert Frost.

23. Movie? Dragon Heart

24. Song? Sunglasses at night - Corey Hart, Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven, Wicked Game (Cover) - H.I.M.

25. TV Series? Walking with Dinosaurs and any documentary narrated by someone with a vaguely European accent, that I can get my hands on.

26. Animal? Cats.

27. Book? Black Beauty it was also one of my first.

28. Color? Orange and Cyan

Would you rather...

29. Twitter or Facebook? Neither

30. Twitter or Instagram? Neither

31. ... well if you're not going to take this seriously...

32. Facebook or Instagram? Neither

33. Coke or Pepsi? Coke...Pepsi makes my teeth squeaky (Cringe)

34. Tea or Coffee? Tea, loose leaf imperial earl grey, hold the sugar and cream thank you.

35. Tacos or Pizza? Enchiladas, please.

36. Skype or Discord? Discord.

Would you ever...

37. Get Married? Yes...

38. Have Kids? Perhaps...

39. Swim with sharks? Depends on the species and situation.

40. Share a banana? Depends on the species and situation.

41. Eat Rotten food? I have, but I didn't realize it at first...

42. Marry a foreigner? Perhaps...

43. Smoke pot? I have tried, but it makes me sick. I don't mind if others indulge in it around me.

Nick's Grim HumorRead this story for FREE!