The Free Pass

Chapter 36

Mallory

I turned 22 on the last day of July. My parents came to visit for the weekend, since my birthday was on Friday. They were staying in a hotel a few blocks from the condo since they didn't want to impose on Shawn's parents again so soon.

Shawn had started recording, but he took my birthday off. It was a nice gesture on his part, especially since I knew things were going well in the studio and stepping away from that was tough.

I woke up on my birthday in the nursery. Grace and I had moved into our new room a few days before. She was sleeping longer at night and it just made sense. Truth be told, though, there'd been some tension between me and Shawn since my doctor's visit. I guess for the first six weeks, when we didn't think sex was even an option, our celibate marriage wasn't that big a deal. After Dr. Abbott had brought it up, sleeping in the same bed became awkward. We were both obviously thinking about it.

I often wondered if I was crazy to not have sex with Shawn. He was insanely hot. He was incredible in bed. Jesus, he was my husband. The problem was that it just didn't feel right anymore. Once it was out in the open that I loved him, it felt pathetic. The only way I could keep my feelings at bay was to not engage physically, no matter how much I wanted to do it.

Gracie was what woke me up that morning. She was squirming in the crib, not crying but just making baby noises. I got up and picked her up.

"Good morning, sunshine!" I said to her as I put her on the changing table.

I soon had her diaper changed and got her dressed in a cute outfit. Today she was wearing a little pink dress with a matching ruffled diaper cover. After she was dressed, I sat in the rocker and fed her. When she was done, I set her back in the crib and put on some clothes. I opted for athletic pants and a t-shirt. I'd put something nicer on before my parents arrived.

We went out to the kitchen where we found Shawn awake and cooking, which was a bit of a surprise.

"What's all this?" I asked.

"I'm making you blueberry pancakes for your birthday," he said as he plugged in the griddle we'd received as a wedding gift.

"Yum! That sounds delicious," I exclaimed as I put Grace in her bouncy seat on the dining room table. I sat down next to her and gently bounced her.

"Happy birthday, Mal," Shawn said. He then walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. He gave Gracie a kiss, too, before getting back to work.

I watched as he concentrated on pouring the batter on the hot griddle. He wasn't much of a cook, so I appreciated the effort he was putting into this.

"My mom said they'll get here around 6:00 tonight," Shawn said as he flipped over the pancakes.

"That's perfect. We can place the food order so that it gets here around 6:30."

I didn't really want to go out with an infant, and I knew my mom would probably cook all weekend. I wanted her to relax tonight, so I said I wanted Chinese food for my birthday dinner.

"Did you decide if you were going to have a glass of wine with dinner? I bought some rosé for you."

I shook my head. "I could pump a bottle for Grace, but it just doesn't seem worth it. Maybe next week, when it's your birthday party, I'll feel more up to it."

Shawn's birthday was the following Saturday, and he was having some friends over to celebrate. Vera and Kris were coming, too, though not specifically for the party. It happened to be a weekend they could both make it up to see the baby. The party was going to be relatively small, but I knew there'd be a lot of drinking.