What am I to you?
It's been a while since both of them celebrated You-chan's birthday and now, their lives are basically back to normal. Live streams here and rehearsals there, pretty much normal. And then, the announcement came
"You girls, you will be performing alongside Saint Snow in the Hakodate Unit Carnival." The director said earning a few smiles from the said girls
"We'll rehearse as early as possible tomorrow. For now, go ahead and take the day off" He added and left
"What's up with our director lately?" Shuka asked first
"Yeah, he's been giving us way too many day offs" Rikyako added
"Suspicious" the first years said in order
"Okay everyone! I know we've been way too lax lately but! That doesn't give us the option to not do our best in the Carnival!" Anchan said
"That's right. Let's go enjoy ourselves today and do our absolute best tomorrow" Arisha added which made everyone say
"Hai!" In unison
After a while of discussing some things amongst themselves, one by one they went out.
The first years went out first saying they'll be going to King's house to play games. Aina and Suwawa went next a few minutes later cause they wanted to go to a new cafe Aina discovered, Arisha went with them so she can "make sure" that they're not gonna do something "inappropriate" Rikyako went home soon after leaving only Shuka and Anchan at the studio.
Anchan was fixing the chairs the staff left and there were quite a lot so Shuka helped her. After Shuka's share of chairs were rid off she asked
"Wanna go somewhere?" Going near to where Anchan was
"As much as I'd love to, I have some stuff to do" Anchan smiled at her
"Anything I can do to help?" Shuka mirrored her smile
"Go home for the day and spend time with your family. You can't always be stuck with me you know" Anchan grinned and took Shuka by the hand
"I love you" Shuka grinned back
"I know" Anchan smiled and kissed the back of Shuka's hand
"I love you too" Anchan grinned again
"I'll see you tomorrow okay?" Shuka said
"Of course" Anchan replied and let go of Shuka's hand. Shuka gave Anchan a quick peck on the cheek before completely waving goodbye.
Shuka went home with her mom and siblings greeting her with a warm welcome. Her mom prepared a big feast to celebrate Shuka's return after a while and the entire family celebrated.
Night came and after the eating was done once again Shuka helped her mom wash the dishes. As they were washing the dishes, Shuka's mom suddenly asked
"Why is Anju not with you love?"
"She was the one who sent me home mama. Apparently, she has something else to do" Shuka replied with a smile
"Did she go home at all during your breaks? I heard that her dad was so busy at work that he only comes home only to come back to his office a few minutes after arriving" upon hearing this Shuka immediately started to worry. Anchan never told her anything about her personal problems. Now that she thought about it, when was the last time Anchan went home? The last time, if memory serves her right, was when Anchan and her got into a fight and she had to go to Anchan's house only to find Anchan on the living room sofa but that was what? 3 months? Half a year ago? And she didn't even see her dad that time. The only time Shuka ever saw Anchan's dad was when Anchan was in the state of breaking down only to be gone again after.
Shuka looked at her mom and her mom already knew what she was gonna do before she even said it
"Go, love. Seeing you come home is enough for me, even if it was just for the day" Her mom said with a smile. Shuka still hesitated though
"But-.." Her mom cut her off
"It's okay Shuka...I feel like Anju needs you more right now" her mom smiled again
"Mama" Shuka got teary eyed and hugged her mom. When they parted, Shuka's mom kissed Shuka's forehead and said
"Take care of Anju okay? I'll see you soon love, you take care of yourself also" Shuka hugged her mom again before nodding and bidding her farewell.
Anchan was inside the studio the entire day, practicing her moves and singing all by herself, even going as far as to try and complete the flip she needed to do in Miracle Wave, but with the current state of mind she is in she failed all attempts whatsoever and now, she was more than frustrated.
"Dang it!" She pounded on the floor as another attempt failed. She didn't know how many times she tried already, all she knew was that they all failed.
"This is so frustrating!" She pounded again and again until her fists hurt so much that she clutched on to the floor, sweat mixed with tears now running down her face.
"Dang it!!" Anchan's cries reverberated on the closed studio walls as she desperately tries to calm herself down.
Shuka didn't know where to find Anchan. She wasn't in her apartment, she could be anywhere. But something compelled her to return to their studio and she did.
She didn't know why she was there, the studio was already deserted she doubted Anchan would be here since she thought maybe Anchan just went out to get groceries and was about to leave when an all familiar voice's cry entered her ears. Before Shuka knew, she dashed to where they usually do their dance practices and there she found Anchan, on the floor, crying her heart's out.
It took Shuka a while to take all the situation in. This was the first time she ever saw Anchan cry like that, the first time she saw their happy go lucky, mikan loving, leader crying and clutching on to whatever she can just because she's "frustrated", their leader who always cheers everyone up and keeps the team going, that same leader, is breaking down.
And as if her legs were compelling her, Shuka went to Anchan
Anchan couldn't quite understand the frustration and disappointment she was feeling, she didn't care if she looked like a total idiot crying her heart's out, no one would see her anyway. At least, that's what she thought before a warm hand cupped her cheeks and made her raise her head
"S-S-Shuka..." she started and Shuka who was bending down to where Anchan was laying on the floor, just smiled at her. Anchan was about to pull away so that she could wipe her tears but Shuka didn't let her. Instead, Shuka hugged her tightly and said
"You're finally letting your emotions out. It's okay. Im the only one here. I know you want to break down. You don't have to hide it from me Anju. Cry as much as you want, I'll be here. I won't leave I promise" And with that, Anchan let everything out. She cried so much that she ended up hiccuping and Shuka was just there to comfort her, stroking her head and whispering sweet nothings into her ear and constantly reassuring her that she's right there.
It took a while for Anchan to calm down and Shuka just hugged her the entire time.
"Are you okay?" Shuka asked in between their hug and was about to let go when Anchan's hands on her back hugged her tighter and stopped her from doing so.
"Don't let go of me...not yet..." Anchan dug her head deeper into Shuka's wet shoulder and continued to hug her. Shuka's just smiled and continued to stroke her head.
They stayed like that for a while when finally Anchan let Shuka go, eyes so puffy and red from crying
"Sorry. You shouldn't have seen me like this" Anchan said as she rubbed her eyes
"Anju..." Shuka's voice turned serious
"What am I to you?" Shuka asked which made Anchan look at her
"You're my girlfriend of course" Anchan replied
"Sometimes I feel like Im not" Shuka bowed her head
"Seeing you like this....it pains me..." Shuka started
"But what pains me the most is that I couldn't do anything before this happened....sometimes I feel like 'girlfriend' is just my label, just a tag, like a title I didn't work hard for but I ended up getting it anyway. I feel like Im not doing my job properly" Shuka bit her lower lip and Anchan could only stare at her
"Im supposed to be your significant other, someone who you can rely on, someone who'll always be there for you when you need me the most. But, why does it feel like you don't want to rely on me? Why do I feel I like Im the only one who's relying on you but you're not doing the same? You know you can come to me whenever you need me. You know I'll always listen. But, why won't you?" Shuka started tearing up a bit now
"Shuka..." Anchan held Shuka's clutched hand
"Im sorry, Im sorry. I know, you're always there for me. But I can't have you shoulder my problems with you already have your own-.." A loud pang could be heard echoing inside the studio. For the first time in their lives, in Shuka's life, she slapped Anju.
A/N: Yeah I know, I've been quite slow on updating this story and I apologize for that since school has been hectic! I promise to update more often once summer ends! For now, a cliffhanger hehe peace!