Sorry

58 5 17


Louis' POV

A little butterfly. Safe, happy and sound with its colourful fluttering nature. It roams around freely with so much joy and pride. It's a kind of butterfly which brings a beautiful smile when it crosses you. It's the kind of butterfly which the toddlers in the park follow. It will sit on the nose of a small kid and brings the giddiness and excitement out of the kids. That kind of love and colours will cherish you and brings out a whole new person out of you.

But what happens when a cruel and evilest person catches the butterfly and keeps it with him?

It's all broken and wounded. The colours which it shows is not it's true one. No longer it is on its own. It should only follow what that person says, that means it should leave it's happiness, loved ones and everything behind.

That's what happening to me right now.

I have been so worried that today would be the last. Since my dad found out our 'thing' he's been always keeping an eye on me. My whole family knows and I'm so good at pretending that everything is okay. It's eating me inside when I lie to Harry every time. He deserves to know what's going to happen to us.

I hate it when I lay down next to him and him holding me like there's no tomorrow when I'm just hiding the biggest thing which he deserves to know. I hate it when I look straight into his eyes and say 'I love you and I will be with you forever'.

The biggest thing which I'm hiding from him --- I will be leaving him and never return.

Call me coward or heartless, I'm doing this because this is the only thing I can do to save my Harry. The realization hits me hard, I can't call him 'my Harry' anymore. He will probably hate me where I hate myself more for doing this to him.

I also hate one thing to say or even admit to myself... I love Harry so much.

I breathe out heavily as I packed the last box. It's the things Harry gave me. Letters, gifts, greeting cards and some shirts of him which he gave me. My eyes swelled up with tears but I didn't let it out, I took his shirt and held it tightly as I inhaled his scent which reminded me the times where I would be in between his arms, his grip will be tight and secure around me. I could now feel his embrace but I do know I shouldn't feel and this is so, so wrong.

I chuckled humorously as I remembered the movie night I spent with Harry. Every time I spend with Harry is lovely and magical. We laid in our bed together tangled while watching 'The Fault In Our Stars' even though we have read the book. After some time, Harry quoted a line. "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." At that time I thought it was funny to say something like that. Like how can some infinity be bigger than the other? Does that even make sense? Hearing that from me, Harry sulked and answered that it has a different meaning which we don't understand. I just laughed at him and kissed him softly. Now I can understand, not fully but I do. I do now.

My room's doorknob twisted. I'm screwed but there's no point in hiding the kinds of stuff which is the only lifeline I'm relying on.

The person because of whom I'm being like this came in with his signature disgusting wicked smile.

"Everything's done?" He questioned as his eyes landed on the box with the things which Harry gave it to me. "Again expressing the fag side of you, Louis?"

Change // Larry Stylinson AUWhere stories live. Discover now