April 30th, 2066

37 16 12

Mother is starting to think it could be over a month before a search team comes to our house. Even so, she won't go upstairs to check the news or even grab some playing cards to relieve our boredom. It's still too risky.

I've thought more about that first relationship I mentioned in my previous entry and I think I recall why it ended. It wasn't just because I didn't understand what she was enduring. No, the real problem was that I kept trying to help. I wanted to save her so badly, but that wasn't what she needed from me. She just needed me to be there.

My constant attempts to "rescue" her combined with my inability to grasp her situation eventually just pushed her away. I think that's what happened to several of my relationships: I kept trying to save people I loved when I should have simply been there for them.

Hopefully, this isn't coming off as too nostalgic or self-pitying. Remembering these things and writing them down has forced me to reflect on my own failures. I'm not sure that my doctor actually wanted me to think back on the bad things, but they're easier to remember than the good things.

The Imperfect's Journal: 1Read this story for FREE!